Standing Room Only

Everyone on your feet! It's time for a standing ovation....for yourself.

I'd like you all to take a moment and think of a time where you should have stood up for yourself or things you believe in, and didn't. Whether it was to "be nice", to "not cause a scene", to "not upset anyone", to "not seem feisty", or whatever other reason...you didn't speak up.

Well I must say, my goal here is not to turn anyone into a raging idiot that screams at the next person that disagrees with them. But I am here to let you know, it IS okay to speak your mind. For my fellow "speak-your-minders" I applaud you...grab yourself a nice cold beer and sit back and relax on this one.

Everyday we make choices, good and bad, large or small...choices are made every minute of our day. It can start as early as when your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you're like me, deciding whether or not to press the snooze button. While you're in the shower deciding how hot to turn the water up to, what outfit to wear, whether or not to go get gas (even though you're almost on E), and you get the idea. Well when people come into the mix, our choices get even more complex and complicated at times. People agreeing or disagreeing, speaking of topics you may love or some you might despise, laughing or crying, happy or sad, mean or rude, and the list continues on and on. 

How do we deal with these things? Well, we all have our methods. And I will tell you a little bit about mine.

Many people I know and love, and many people I've had the chance to just meet in passing, have been kind and honest enough to tell me I'm one of the most relatable, down-to-earth people they have ever met. And no, I'm not taking this as an opportunity to feed my ego. Don't kill the messenger. But we all know the qualities we get complimented on the most, come on.

I'm usually told that I'm "easy to talk to" and a lot of people tell me that they “feel they’ve known me for years.” I mean, I've always been good with people in general. I perceive people well, I can usually tell what type of personality you have within talking to you for 3 minutes. I can talk to absolutely anyone, I adjust and can be like a chameleon in any environment...I change my colors and blend right in. I can always find a way to relate to people. I've always been a friendly, out-going, fun-loving type of gal. I was never embarrassed easily, and I'm still not. I don't mind being the center of attention and I also don't mind sitting in the shadows. I'm good with it all and I love all types of people. Probably one of the main reasons I got my degree in Public Relations and got my minor degree in Communications. The love of communicating and being around people. Good people, specifically.

Since I was young, I was expressive, passionate, and very open to speaking my mind. And since I'm never shy and never closed off in front of people...it has been both a burden and a blessing, to have the ability to speak freely and passionately about absolutely anything I feel necessary, without reservation.

So as far as those daily decisions we discussed earlier...I always have, and still do, opt into speaking up instead of staying quiet.

In high school I always talked shit back to anyone trying to bother me, I always walked with my head held high no matter what was going on in my life. In college, I told several people to fuck off when trying to ruin my night, never hesitated to put the drunk “I’m going to slyly try to touch your butt” guy at the bar sternly in his place, and forget about anyone trying to mess with any of my WVU fam...we would protect each other like siblings and squash you like an insect. Ehh, blame it on the fact I never had an older brother.

But in all seriousness, I'm just genuinely not scared of anyone, I'm not scared to tell someone they are wrong, or that I disagree, or that they are being rude. Why should we all sit there and be quiet? And that doesn't mean I'm trying to fight people everyday of my life, I'm just saying that there is nothing wrong with voicing your opinions, standing up for what you believe in, and being open. And perhaps that'll lead to a punch in my face, but it hasn't happened yet...and anyone who knows me knows I can take a swift punch to the face as well as any other. So bring it. This isn't Sunday school or your local public library. Let's speak the hell up.

And trust me, you will not always get a good response. Some people will hate you for being that way, they'll sum you up to be argumentative, to be a hot head, or write you off as the “Great Debater”. But whatever. Everyone has an opinion and unfortunately not everyone’s is a good or valuable one anyway. So fuck it. 

I've had several people hate my 'speak-up' type of attitude. Plenty. But to that point, none of them were my friends, none of them were people I really knew or cared about, none of them were even relevant to my life. So goes to show. My family and friends always tell me they "love that about me" and those who are more shy have told me in confidence that they "wish they could be like that." I appreciate my friends who have always had the same respect and mentality as me, and have backed me up, and for that I love them. 

So many people are quieted by others. Don't get me wrong, pick your battles. Sometimes things really, truly aren't worth a second of your time or a breath out of your lungs. But sometimes it really is worthy of it. You're the referee and that is a call only you can make or a flag you can throw. 

But when it is called for, speak up, speak out, and if needed, speak loud. Don't let anyone step on you, put you down, disrespect you, or belittle you. I don't care who it is. Life is too short to not stand up for things. Stand up for your beliefs, stand up for your respect, stand up for your life, stand up for your words, stand up for your thoughts, stand up for your friends and family, stand up for your rights, stand up for your opinions, and most importantly...stand up for yourself.

And if anyone doesn't like it, too bad. Just like the saying goes "Stand for something, or fall for anything." Well than...stand up, stand tall, stand firm, and stand confident. Put your foot down, plant your feet on the ground...and don't bow down or sit for anyone.

Pull up a chair when YOU feel like it. Sit down when you are tired of standing...don't sit because someone tells you to. 

Not For Sale

       Why do we sometimes sell ourselves short?

       

       There are so many common phrases that remind us how many people are guilty of selling themselves short. “You’re your biggest critic”, “you’re your own worst enemy”, “you’re too hard on yourself.” Since when did we become so harsh to our very selves? And how sad is it that we all just accept these things as common and continue on with our lives?!

       There are so many things in our complex brain that make us our own worst enemy. We judge ourselves too much, we compare ourselves to other people, we think too much, we are over-analytical, we don’t let the past go, we’ve been hurt, we have a job that drains the life out of us, we let things make us weak when otherwise your grandma would say you are “one tough cookie”, and the list goes on.

       Listen, we all have our days, but once in a while you have to remember the independent, confident, bad-ass, good-looking motherfucker that you really are. Yes, there will be times we fall down, but we always get back up. And yes, there will be times we look like shit, but we always clean up well, don’t we? 

       I say we have a nice toast to ourselves....I type this as I drink a stiff vodka on the rocks...3 ice cubes.

       Once in a while you need to relieve the stress of your draining job, of your hyperactive kids, your fucked up car that needs fixing, your repetitive household chores, your arguments with people, your “what ifs”, your “ands”, your “buts”, your “maybes”, people in general, your bills, your worries, your problems, and your never ending “to-do” list.

       We can’t always depend on other people to bring us up. So let’s start the habit of taking care of that ourselves. I know I always say this but LIFE IS SHORT. It may not work every time, but once in a while try to remind yourself of this when you had a bad day, are in an argument, angry, upset, crying, or have a stressful issue...and you might surprise yourself in finding that you might change your attitude around.

       Don’t let yourself be your worst enemy, there are plenty of people in the world that will or already have applied for that position. Fuck what people think, forget about how people perceive you, your life, your relationship, or your friends...because you know what value all of it is really holds. Forget everyone’s approval. Those who really love and know you or want to know you won’t judge, so do not worry. 

       Don’t sell yourself short. In fact, don’t sell yourself at all! You’re fun, you’re talented, you’re beautiful, your jokes are great, your outfit looks amazing, you’re good at your job, you’re valuable, you're intelligent, you’re wanted, you’re unique, you’re inspiring, you’re special, you’re powerful, you’re confident, you’re good-hearted, you’re a good friend, you’re a good partner, you’re a good person...and you are not for sale.

       So stand up and toast to yourself. Appreciate YOU, appreciate your journey, appreciate your hard work, your struggles, and your successes. Let’s be the person we really want to be, and the person we really are, and let’s make it a habit! Let’s toast to rebuilding, to withstanding, and preserverance. Because remember, life is not about your setbacks...life is all about your comebacks.

What's on your mind?

The other day I began thinking...when did I get a facebook account? And crazy thing is, I honestly couldn’t remember exactly when I signed on to this amazing/evil thing. But hey, if it wasn’t for facebook, we wouldn’t keep in touch with a lot of our college friends, distant family members, busy co-workers, friends of friends, acquaintances, or hell, we wouldn’t be putting stupid comments on our best friends wall even though we’ll see them in 20 minutes.

Our world is now consumed with facebook. We have applications on our iPhones, it’s our landing page for our internet homepage, we sneak it at work, we are on it waiting at the doctor’s office, you’re updating your status as you almost swerve into traffic driving to work, you’re barely listening to the conversation your mother is having with you because you’re too busy scrolling through your friend’s “Drunk Night Out” photo album...What has happened to us?

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not hating on it. Although certain things about it can consume your mind for hours with mind-numbing posts, comments, pictures, events, videos, and random irrelevant status updates...the thing is damn entertaining when you’re bored at times. And hell, how would I promote any of my music or this very blog? So hey, I’m all on board.

But I had a epiphany the other day about this intriguing and sometimes addicting Web site. I realized that facebook can help you weed out people who have WAY too much time on their hands. ‘Have you seen this? Have you heard about this?’

Let me clarify. I’m not talking about people who actually have something useful to post, and perhaps it may be on a frequent basis. If your life is that interesting and eventful than I applaud you, but if you’re updating your status to let us know you’re bored, you picked up your dog at the vet, you bought a new sweatshirt at the mall, or you are currently sneezing up a storm....umm, I think I speak for nearly everyone when I say “We don’t care.” These types of people have way too much time on their hands.

Also, facebook helps you realize not only how much people stalk each other but how purely immature certain people are. I’m not talking about the highschool girls looking up that cute kid in their biology class either, I’m talking about people in their mid 20s acting like they are 15 years old. 

I’ve seen and heard it all...we all have. The creepy 40 year old friend requesting you including a message saying “Nice profile pic ;) “, the stalker ex trying to look up all your photo albums, or the immature poor souls who make it a point to use facebook as a “hater” outlet. And I am bringing this to light because way too many have to encounter these people and it’s about time someone called them out.

I’m not opposed to voicing your opinion and speaking out on this social networking medium, I mean that’s what it is there for. But next time you take the energy, time, and effort to post a status bashing someone, comment sarcastically on someone’s photo because someone you don’t like is in it, or support and “like” someone’s comment that basically displays to everyone that their mind hasn’t passed the 2nd grade...please ask yourself “Who’s looking stupid here?” Because the answer is you.

Not only does it make you seem like you have nothing better or more important to do with your time, but it makes the person who you are commenting about seem very very important to you. You look pathetic, immature, and honestly...it’s somewhat sad. We feel bad for you, don’t worry.

Let’s try to use facebook and the other sites alike, for positivity, humor, fun, and for good. And yes, the occasional rant, venting session, and pointless remark is more than welcome, but make sure you’re keeping your dignity and your class. Do you really want to display to the entire world that you’re lacking it? I think not.

If you have issues with someone or something, please address it maturely. Unfortunately for you, we graduated high school many years ago now. Basically, if you can’t fix a problem or insecurity you have within yourself, or with the appropriate people in your life...using facebook as a means to alert people that you’re bothered by something, annoyed at something, or upset, makes you seem weak. Do us all a favor (and more so, yourself a favor) and find a way to boost your confidence and address your needs to the right people, instead of making yourself look immature.

To those of you who are receiving the hate, hearing about and seeing the comments...feel happy, feel blessed, and feel important. These people are taking precious time out of their day to do, say, and post something for you, let’s not be rude and show some appreciation shall we?

And to all those stuck in immaturity, don’t you see we are too busy with our careers, dreams, passions, good relationships, family, friends, and lives to be bothered with your nonsense? Hey, don’t forget to look up, because the adult, mature-minded folks up here shall wave down to you from the pedestal that you put us on.

And first place goes to......the nice guy.

       The old myth that people like “the chase”...Whether it was a friend, a co-worker, your mom, or a stranger at the bar, at one point you all have received the ancient-old advice to “play hard to get.”

       More than likely this “golden” tip was given to you a long time ago and for those who may have just heard his recently, than I am just in time for you.

       The notion is basically, don’t be “too available”, don’t be “too open”, don’t be “too involved”, or “too attached.” Some say this piece of advice is crucial during the beginning stages of a blossoming relationship. Quite frankly I am just not sure how much I find this theory to even be plausible at all. I mean, I can understand not blowing up the guy’s phone 100 times that you just met at the grocery store 2 days ago...but since when does acting like you’re disinterested gain you any rewards?

       This got me thinking...

       Ladies, how many times have you heard guy’s say “Oh, girls love assholes” or “the nice guys always finish last”? About a buzzillion, right? And gentleman, how many times have you heard a women say “Oh, guys need a girl who is a bitch”?

       Who the hell decided any of these statements are truthful? For those of you finding either of these statements as justifiable, let me please bluntly and quickly burst your bubble.

       I doubt anyone “wants” or “loves” an asshole. And excuse me, but any guy who has EVER been an asshole, “Mr. Suave”, too cool, or acted disinterested towards me, not only never got my phone number but more than likely our conversation only lasted just long enough for me to let him know that I’d rather go home and play a video game on my couch than continue speaking with him. And I’ve seen and heard plenty of my guy friends go talk to a girl somewhere with a bitch attitude and come back and say “She was cute, but she was a bitch...forget it.”

       Honestly, women and men...I think we both have some work to do to get ride of this theory that we both love people who basically suck. I will also be candid and say that girl you know still dating the guy who treats her like crap or the guy you know who constantly gets bossed around by his snobby-ass girlfriend have low self-esteem, feel they can’t get anyone else, and sadly enough some people just don’t want to put the risk, time or energy into dating again, being alone, or finding someone worth it. And I’m sure there are many other reasons people allow themselves to remain in an unpleasant situation...but hey, that’s just my thoughts.

       So you meet an interesting girl at the bar and you exchange phone numbers. You immediately like each other. Two days later she texts you to go grab a bite to eat and you sit smirking, staring at your inbox and you decide to “play it cool” and close your phone without responding. The girl doesn’t hear from you until the next day when you decide you’ve played it “cool” long enough and text her back.

       Little do you know the damage you’ve already caused in such a short time. Now she won’t answer you right away either. She knows your little scheme here and she’ll be damned if she appears desperate and decides to ignore you until the next day in return. And the cycle of things of this nature will continue for God knows how long. Yes it sounds petty...but we have ALL been there and seen others partaking in this nonsense, admit it.

       Since when does acting disinterested show you’re interested?...Seems ironic, doesn’t it? And we sit here and wonder why we all treat each other like shit...go figure.

       Now let’s backtrack a bit. So the “playing hard to get” thing, what happens than when you are with someone a long time? Or you live with them? Or you’re married? Or have kids together? Do we really need to still “play” anything?! I mean, when do the games ever really come to a close?

       And a lot of this comes down to plain effort sometimes. Why don’t we all use the effort and energy we spend toward playing hard to get and act how we REALLY feel?

       And while we are on the topic of efforts, let’s dive into that a bit too. So many people complain of or fear the lack of effort from their significant other. Most people have this theory of the “honeymoon” stage. Whether it’s a month, a few months, or as little as a couple weeks, people have a definitive amount of time when this “phase” comes to a close.

       I agree with the honeymoon stage lasting only a specific amount of time but the important difference in my belief is that I have a completely different definition of what the honeymoon stage actual entails.

       Too many people have this general belief that during the honeymoon stage you are so in love, infatuated, giddy and extremely happy. Both of you are fully devoted, displaying effort, you’re going on fun dates, you’re laughing, you’re inspired...and all of a sudden a few months goes by and you “really get to know that person” and all of this happiness and fun comes to an abrupt halt...What the fuck?

       Hey, I’m not saying this doesn’t happen to people. I know it has, it still does, and it will continue to happen, but does that mean we need to pump belief into such a negative message? Just because it happens to some doesn’t mean all of a sudden it is a universal rule of thumb. My belief of a honeymoon stage is going from being scared to eating in front of each other to a few months later eating ribs and having sauce all over your face and not caring. Or being comfortable enough to let out a large belch every once and a while. Not completely giving up on being romantic and caring.

       And I’m going to use this opportunity to call out the lazy people out there as well. Yeah, I’m talking to you, you who did and said all these wonderful things for your significant other and then time passed, or you got married, or you moved in, or you started seeing them every day and you’ve become less of what you used to be. Shame on you.

       Certain people get “too comfortable” after a period of time with someone and forget the importance of those little things. So you charmed someone enough to fall in love with your ass and now you’re going to get lazy?! Pshhh. That is the time to kick everything up a notch and make sure you keep the fire going strong.

       Ladies, surprise your man with his favorite homemade meal and guys don’t let any female convince you that we don’t like receiving those “just because” flowers. Sneak their favorite candy bar in their bag, buy them a card to remind them you care, when you say you’re going to make something up to them...do it. Sound cheesy? Then I’d take an educated guess in concluding that you more than likely get in and out of bed alone most days don’t you? Good luck to you.

       Romance is everything. The little things are everything. Without it, life and relationships can get quickly mundane. Yes, you don’t have to do something overly extravagant every single passing day, but once in a while is nice. And just the little things on a day to day basis truly mean a lot more than people chalk it up to be.

       So I grouped two important topics together. Let’s not get lazy or dull. Let’s not forget the importance of romance, communication, and opening up.  Let’s break the theory, notion, and stereotype that we fall for the ones who act disinterested. Acting disinterested indeed is NOT the “new” interested. It never was or shall be, in my book.

       If you care, act like it. If you want to see someone, tell them. If someone doesn’t like you saying and doing things like that than there’s a pretty good chance that they just don’t like you.

       Life is too short to not spend it wisely and to not spend it with someone you love. So don’t forget to surprise them, make them smile, and ACT INTERESTED. The lesson here is the whole “playing hard to get” bit is outdated. And if you’ve survived playing hard to get, and this so-called honeymoon stage, and you’re lucky enough to still have someone special by your side...please don’t slack on the romance and the little things. Comfortable or not, I don’t care if you’ve been together for decades...stay creative, stay romantic, and stay involved!

       Not only does the asshole not finish last, he doesn’t finish at all. In my book, bitches aint shit and the nice guy finishes FIRST.

      ....See you at the finish line people.

The Ninth Cloud

       It's a bird, it's a plane. . .no, it's me. I have been flying high in the sky lately. Look up and you'll find me.

       There has been a lot of positive changes in my life in the last several months. A little over 2 weeks ago, my boyfriend and I moved in to our very first apartment! The night before the big move, I was putting my procrastination to the test as I sat Indian-style in the center of my room at 10 pm still taping up packed boxes and folding up random clothes. As the clock ticked on, my drawers emptied, and my sleepiness increased, I looked around my room and realized I was actually moving on in my life and I was finally happy.

       My dad stood in my doorway asking me 100 times if I "needed help." I could tell he was a bit sad to see me go. Who am I kidding? He was probably more than a bit sad. But surprisingly, since I even broke the news to my dad, he has not said one negative comment or even had a single reservation about my decision to move out with my boyfriend. No "are you sure?!", no "well, be careful Erika". He legit was just happy for me and spoke positive about it. I truly think that he sees my happiness and he sees the joy in my eyes and he knows it's ok and most importantly, that I am in very good hands.

       So we talked and I packed and at one point or another we finally started loading boxes into all 4 doors of my car. Boxes labeled "winter clothes", "hair stuff", "misc", "shoes", and "more shoes" all were piled high into my backseat and trunk. 

       Once all the boxes were in, I grabbed my dry cleaned Chargers jerseys and Bebe dresses and laid them gently on the tippy top of all the boxes. And with a sigh of relief, I shut my car doors. Walking back toward my front door I clicked 'lock' on my keypad...and with the "beep" noise, I walked back inside to my now emptier room. That night, I slept like a baby.

       The next day I went into work and could not wait to leave (which isn't unusual but even more powerful on this day.) After work, I drove down to my boyfriend's house, helped him load up his car and we began our trip to the new pad with our cars loaded up with things for our new home.

       So you know the drill, we unloaded boxes, we dripped some sweat, we got things together, we unloaded some more boxes and had a living room solely consisting of brown boxes and one fabulous looking couch we purchased.

       So as you may have guessed, a lot was going on with the move. You don't even really realize all the stuff you're really going to have to buy and do until you start the process. Despite large items, like a couch, TV, dining room set, etc. There is an endless list of stuff you will need. Everything from spatulas to cotton balls, household cleaners to bath towels, laundry baskets to extension cords, and trust me, the list can and does go on. But as stressful as it may sound, if it's with the right person it can be a very smooth transition...and actually fun to do.

       And that's the thing, I've never actually wanted to live with someone before. I could hardly stand living with certain people in college! But I will say that I have no reservation, no worry, and no concern about this new chapter in my life. And honestly, my true theory and belief is that I feel this confident because for the first time in my life I absolutely KNOW that I am with the right person for me. 

       Sure, after everything I've been through, I have my little fears...but it's only because I care so much and of course the fact that I've never done this before. And now that I think of it,  I couldn't be more happy that I haven't done this before. I love the fact that this is my first time moving in with someone, and I want nothing more than for it to be my last. <3 

       To find someone who loves you, flaws included, is a very unique and amazing thing. We all have our days, our moments, and our attitudes. If someone can totally understand those things about you and hear you out and never judge you than you should feel blessed. And I sure do.

       I realize that this is a public space, anyone can view it, anyone can read it, and quite frankly that is the appeal of it for me. I didn't start writing this blog to have it be for selected people. So with that being said, there is nothing wrong in celebrating your own successes, accomplishments and happiness! And I'm allowing myself to celebrate mine.

       Not only am I working my full time job and paying my bills, but I have great and supportive friends and family, I'm involved in things I'm passionate about, and I am living and laughing everyday with the best guy I could have ever met. I am finally at this place called "Cloud 9" that people talk about. . . And damn, am I happy to have finally arrived.

       For those of you searching for love or in an unsatisfying relationship...do not settle. Yes, it is a cliche phrase but so many people do not pay attention to the true value and importance in this statement. You shouldn't be wasting time because life is too short. Don't let anyone tell you that you expect too much or that you have too high of expectations. You very well SHOULD have high expectations because someone worth it will easily fill those expectations. 

       I'll be completely honest in saying that I used to be a person who thought my expectations would never be met and that the qualities I really wanted in someone would never be realistic. And I think many people think in this mind set. We look back on our failed relationships and our tug of wars, and look at ourselves and think "God, I don't know if I'll ever find the right person." At one time I was one of these people and my boyfriend proved me wrong. And quite frankly, I think he also had that fear and I proved him wrong as well. I've never been so happy to be proven wrong.

       So my point is this...don't settle. Believe it or not, there IS someone who will be everything you had hoped. Someone who will stand up for you, who will understand you when you're being quiet, who will cheer you up when you had a bad day, who will actually listen to you whine. Someone who will know what to text you to make you smile, who will put you FIRST, who will actually give effort...everyday. Someone who will find you funny and laugh at all your jokes, who will leave you hearts on your facebook wall, who will take pictures with you, and someone who will look you in the eyes and tell you how they feel about you. Someone who will tell you your outfit looks great, who is romantic, who cares, and will let you control the TV remote. Someone who will wash the dishes after you cook a meal...without being asked to, who will remember things you say, and who when they say "I'm sorry" they mean it. Someone who knows when you're mad and will try to make it better, who will give you the last bite of their sandwich, and who will let you take their car to work when yours needs fixing. Someone who holds your hand, who gives you credit, and who supports all your journeys you want to embark on. Someone who will cook for you and enjoy it, who will lift with you at the gym, and who will let you play Call of Duty for 3 hours completely uninterrupted. Someone who does your laundry just to save you the trouble, who kisses you goodnight, who nods as you go on about your favorite football team, and who lets you pick out the movie as you stand in front of the RedBox at Walgreens. Someone who appreciates your quirks, loves you despite your flaws, trusts you, and is honest, trustworthy, and dependable. 

        Seems like a lot to ask for? Absolutely NOT. This is what we all very well deserve and than some. This is what anyone would want, so why settle for less? Don't.

       I am lucky enough to have all of those things and I'll never take it for granted. Once you find it, once you have that perfect "plus one", you too can be on Cloud 9.

       Celebrate your successes, be happy about your accomplishments and milestones in your life, be passionate, love the ones you care about...and remember, do not settle.

       So yeah, we just moved into our first apartment. Our location you ask? A little place people like to call Cloud 9. And let me tell you...the view from up here is unbelievable.

Judgement Day

       Let’s be honest. As much as we say “I don’t care what people think.” We all know deep down we certainly do care what people think. And maybe not every single person, maybe only certain people, but nevertheless, we do care. We all fear what people may think about something we said, something we did, or something we didn’t do or say.

       And I do believe that at times we may be concerned with what people or a certain person may have thought of something we said or did, and in reality that person did not even judge it. Imagine all the times we sat there worried or concerned or debating what this person is thinking when in fact they just took it for what it was. . . Talk about wasted energy!

       And forget about all the hundreds, even thousands of people who we encounter in a month or a year or our entire life-span that may have judged us. Quite a lot probably, right? Now imagine all the times we have judged our very selves. 

       Think of how many times we may have confessed a dark secret to an old friend or had a hissy fit in front of our significant other after a long day at work and said to ourselves “Ugh, shit, why did I say that!?” Or you broke down and cried in front of someone you care about and later felt regret for “opening up too much” or “expressing too much emotion”, or being “too vulnerable.”

       Then there are the thoughts of setting criteria for ourselves. “I should be acting this way.” “I should be happy.” “I should be not bothered by this right now.” “I shouldn’t be this frustrated.” “I should have done this.” “I should have done that.”

       When the hell did we become so critical? What happened to worrying about OTHERS judging us? Now we gotta worry about ourselves too? Christ. We are in trouble here.

       We don’t need to put parameters, limitations, rules, or requirements on any of our actions, emotions, or lives. You over-reacted, you under-reacted, you yelled, you cried, you spoke too much, you didn’t speak at all, you were vulnerable, you stepped out of line, you didn’t step up at all, you were in a funk, you weren’t yourself for a moment, you pulled an attitude....OH WELL.

       Don’t forget the most obvious fact, we are human and no one is perfect. We are all allowed to have our moments. I am giving us permission.

       All we can hope for is that we surround ourselves with people who DO NOT judge us and can love us during our bad days and with our flaws and all. If you have that you’re lucky, if you don’t have that...well I suggest you better get to finding it.

       Embrace your flaws, embrace your “bad” moments, embrace your emotions...and try to embrace them in others as well. Use it as an opportunity to improve yourself, be a better you, and laugh at yourself once in a while. Every day, every moment, every interaction and encounter is a chance to better your life. So don’t judge yourself because on judgement day there will be a line of people ready and willing to do that for you. And remember, there are nearly 7 billion people in the world to judge you...don’t add one more to the bunch.

"Can't Shoot Me Down" -Song

Working on some solo projects. Here is one of my latests.