The old myth that people like “the chase”...Whether it was a friend, a co-worker, your mom, or a stranger at the bar, at one point you all have received the ancient-old advice to “play hard to get.”
More than likely this “golden” tip was given to you a long time ago and for those who may have just heard his recently, than I am just in time for you.
The notion is basically, don’t be “too available”, don’t be “too open”, don’t be “too involved”, or “too attached.” Some say this piece of advice is crucial during the beginning stages of a blossoming relationship. Quite frankly I am just not sure how much I find this theory to even be plausible at all. I mean, I can understand not blowing up the guy’s phone 100 times that you just met at the grocery store 2 days ago...but since when does acting like you’re disinterested gain you any rewards?
This got me thinking...
Ladies, how many times have you heard guy’s say “Oh, girls love assholes” or “the nice guys always finish last”? About a buzzillion, right? And gentleman, how many times have you heard a women say “Oh, guys need a girl who is a bitch”?
Who the hell decided any of these statements are truthful? For those of you finding either of these statements as justifiable, let me please bluntly and quickly burst your bubble.
I doubt anyone “wants” or “loves” an asshole. And excuse me, but any guy who has EVER been an asshole, “Mr. Suave”, too cool, or acted disinterested towards me, not only never got my phone number but more than likely our conversation only lasted just long enough for me to let him know that I’d rather go home and play a video game on my couch than continue speaking with him. And I’ve seen and heard plenty of my guy friends go talk to a girl somewhere with a bitch attitude and come back and say “She was cute, but she was a bitch...forget it.”
Honestly, women and men...I think we both have some work to do to get ride of this theory that we both love people who basically suck. I will also be candid and say that girl you know still dating the guy who treats her like crap or the guy you know who constantly gets bossed around by his snobby-ass girlfriend have low self-esteem, feel they can’t get anyone else, and sadly enough some people just don’t want to put the risk, time or energy into dating again, being alone, or finding someone worth it. And I’m sure there are many other reasons people allow themselves to remain in an unpleasant situation...but hey, that’s just my thoughts.
So you meet an interesting girl at the bar and you exchange phone numbers. You immediately like each other. Two days later she texts you to go grab a bite to eat and you sit smirking, staring at your inbox and you decide to “play it cool” and close your phone without responding. The girl doesn’t hear from you until the next day when you decide you’ve played it “cool” long enough and text her back.
Little do you know the damage you’ve already caused in such a short time. Now she won’t answer you right away either. She knows your little scheme here and she’ll be damned if she appears desperate and decides to ignore you until the next day in return. And the cycle of things of this nature will continue for God knows how long. Yes it sounds petty...but we have ALL been there and seen others partaking in this nonsense, admit it.
Since when does acting disinterested show you’re interested?...Seems ironic, doesn’t it? And we sit here and wonder why we all treat each other like shit...go figure.
Now let’s backtrack a bit. So the “playing hard to get” thing, what happens than when you are with someone a long time? Or you live with them? Or you’re married? Or have kids together? Do we really need to still “play” anything?! I mean, when do the games ever really come to a close?
And a lot of this comes down to plain effort sometimes. Why don’t we all use the effort and energy we spend toward playing hard to get and act how we REALLY feel?
And while we are on the topic of efforts, let’s dive into that a bit too. So many people complain of or fear the lack of effort from their significant other. Most people have this theory of the “honeymoon” stage. Whether it’s a month, a few months, or as little as a couple weeks, people have a definitive amount of time when this “phase” comes to a close.
I agree with the honeymoon stage lasting only a specific amount of time but the important difference in my belief is that I have a completely different definition of what the honeymoon stage actual entails.
Too many people have this general belief that during the honeymoon stage you are so in love, infatuated, giddy and extremely happy. Both of you are fully devoted, displaying effort, you’re going on fun dates, you’re laughing, you’re inspired...and all of a sudden a few months goes by and you “really get to know that person” and all of this happiness and fun comes to an abrupt halt...What the fuck?
Hey, I’m not saying this doesn’t happen to people. I know it has, it still does, and it will continue to happen, but does that mean we need to pump belief into such a negative message? Just because it happens to some doesn’t mean all of a sudden it is a universal rule of thumb. My belief of a honeymoon stage is going from being scared to eating in front of each other to a few months later eating ribs and having sauce all over your face and not caring. Or being comfortable enough to let out a large belch every once and a while. Not completely giving up on being romantic and caring.
And I’m going to use this opportunity to call out the lazy people out there as well. Yeah, I’m talking to you, you who did and said all these wonderful things for your significant other and then time passed, or you got married, or you moved in, or you started seeing them every day and you’ve become less of what you used to be. Shame on you.
Certain people get “too comfortable” after a period of time with someone and forget the importance of those little things. So you charmed someone enough to fall in love with your ass and now you’re going to get lazy?! Pshhh. That is the time to kick everything up a notch and make sure you keep the fire going strong.
Ladies, surprise your man with his favorite homemade meal and guys don’t let any female convince you that we don’t like receiving those “just because” flowers. Sneak their favorite candy bar in their bag, buy them a card to remind them you care, when you say you’re going to make something up to them...do it. Sound cheesy? Then I’d take an educated guess in concluding that you more than likely get in and out of bed alone most days don’t you? Good luck to you.
Romance is everything. The little things are everything. Without it, life and relationships can get quickly mundane. Yes, you don’t have to do something overly extravagant every single passing day, but once in a while is nice. And just the little things on a day to day basis truly mean a lot more than people chalk it up to be.
So I grouped two important topics together. Let’s not get lazy or dull. Let’s not forget the importance of romance, communication, and opening up. Let’s break the theory, notion, and stereotype that we fall for the ones who act disinterested. Acting disinterested indeed is NOT the “new” interested. It never was or shall be, in my book.
If you care, act like it. If you want to see someone, tell them. If someone doesn’t like you saying and doing things like that than there’s a pretty good chance that they just don’t like you.
Life is too short to not spend it wisely and to not spend it with someone you love. So don’t forget to surprise them, make them smile, and ACT INTERESTED. The lesson here is the whole “playing hard to get” bit is outdated. And if you’ve survived playing hard to get, and this so-called honeymoon stage, and you’re lucky enough to still have someone special by your side...please don’t slack on the romance and the little things. Comfortable or not, I don’t care if you’ve been together for decades...stay creative, stay romantic, and stay involved!
Not only does the asshole not finish last, he doesn’t finish at all. In my book, bitches aint shit and the nice guy finishes FIRST.
....See you at the finish line people.
No comments:
Post a Comment