Never Ask a Stranger for Directions

       It's interesting how life consists of going down sets of different paths. There are two roads to go down (sometimes more), you decide which one you'll be taking, and you start a journey.

       Sometimes these roads lead to success, happiness, great opportunity and open valleys. You can wind up in love, at a dream job, able to reach goals, and finding the wonders of the world. But sometimes these roads can also lead to dead ends, deserted areas and traffic jams. You can wind up lost, angry, and hurt.

       And sometimes a road may look like a beautiful scenic route, but you can find yourself half way down it and then realize you really just ended up in the mud. You noticed you've walked miles and miles down a certain way, spending years of your life...and come to find out it's not where you wanted to end up. 

       Do we ever know for sure if where we are headed is the right way? And sure, if it turns out not to be, we can always turn around...but what if it's a one-way street? What if you never figure out exactly where you are and find yourself going around in circles, passing the same block over and over again and never actually moving any further? What if you think you are venturing onto a new path when you come to realize it’s a road you’ve already taken?

       How can we ever know we are on the right road in our careers, our relationships, our future, our love life, our friendships, and our overall choices?

       Just like the trees, our lives are ever-changing...along with the people in them. There is so much uncertainty involved, that if you really focus on it, it may very well scare the shit out of you. Or perhaps we can look at this uncertainty in a positive light and be grateful for the fact that we don’t know what is coming next. Perhaps we should embrace the mystery of where our decisions may lead us, where they may make us end up, and how we will learn from them.

       You can follow someone down a road, use a GPS to make sure you get there a specific way, bring a map and try to figure it out, or you may want to wander until you find what you're looking for. Some may take a busy street, while others go on a road less traveled. Some may lead, some may follow, and some may stand still.

       I guess there is no way of knowing where our life paths will lead us or how we will do on the way to where we end up. I suppose the best we can do is learn from the wrong turns and dead ends, embrace the beautiful secret passages, get to know the people we meet along the way, and hope we end up in a place we enjoy. Also, be grateful that we have the options, the different roads, the privilege of making a choice for our lives...because despite the chances of it not turning out exactly the way we envisioned, life would be pretty fucking boring.

       And just a piece of advice, when it comes to which road you will take, trust yourself...and never ask a stranger for directions. 

Always Wake Up Early...

       I got inspired last week by a speech they played on the radio during the daily morning show I listen to on my way to work. It was not even 7 AM yet, and I sat at the red light, no cars on the road, and I turned up the volume on my radio as I listened to this man giving “life advice”. They somehow made it into a song. Anyway, I found myself moved by it and of course, inspired to write a blog entry and perhaps share with everyone my own version of “life advice.”

       To all of those truly living life, which I certainly hope is everyone...here are some things to live by. None of them may have any hard evidence, scientific background, or research conducted on them, but I can only share advice on my own experiences. If there was one piece of advice I would give, above all else, it would be to wake up early. Those who are sleeping cannot get anything done, you will have a jump start not only to your day, but you’ll also never run late for work. Don’t be afraid to be emotional or open with others, even strangers, for these people will relate to you and most of all, remember you...and no one wants to be forgotten. Celebrate your successes, but not too much, for not every card you will be dealt will result in a full house. When you fail, admit it, take it in, and write down what the fuck not to do again. Get enough sleep. Save old photographs, because even if you have a great memory, nothing replaces seeing those awkward outfits from high school or the first date you had with the love of your life. Remember your college friends, for they taught you more about yourself than you’ll ever really be able to thank them for. Don’t dwell, whether it’s on the past or the future or the next minute...dwelling occupies your mind when you can be planning an adventure, being creative, or even just cleaning your kitchen counters. Record yourself singing a song you love. Hell, sing in the shower from time to time. There is nothing closer to rocking out Madison Square Garden than singing loudly in your shower as you lather up your luffa. Don’t let a day go by that you don’t tell your significant other that you love them, because one day you’d wish you had told them every passing moment. Let go of grudges and hold tightly to good memories. Pay your bills on time. Don’t watch beauty shows, for they never make you feel good about yourself, and they are as fake as they seem. Instead, look in the mirror and feel confident. Cry during a sad movie, no one is judging you. Wear your heart on your sleeve, just make sure it’s a flattering shirt. Laugh hard, until your stomach hurts. Get drunk with an old friend and make new memories. Never forget where you came from, because without it, you’d never get to where you are going. Sign yourself up for karaoke at a crowded bar. Buy yourself flowers. Congratulate someone on their accomplishments. Generally do right by others, because what they say about karma is true, it can certainly be a bitch. Smile. Old friends may disappear and new ones may come in, but hold on to the few true ones that have stayed present in your life throughout all the changes. Say yes more often, because no’s tend to close doors, decrease opportunity, or leave you wondering ‘what if’. Eat a greasy, fat, cheeseburger and don’t feel guilty afterwards. Read that book you always wanted to read but never made time to. Go to the gym. Tell your family you love them, for they will not always be around. Be nice to strangers, because you never know if they will be a future boss, friend, or a person driving by you as you need help changing your flat tire. Respect other people’s opinions. Follow at least one of your dreams, whether it’s being a parent or being a rock star...pursue it, you’ll thank me later. Drink lots of water, it’s good for your face. Always have extra toilet paper. Be thankful for your heartbreaks, those who decided to betray you have strengthened your skin, made you tough, and helped you appreciate the better things that come along. Wash your face every night. Always carry chap stick, no one likes rough lips, and you never know when you’ll be getting an unexpected smooch. Treat yourself once in a while, I know your bills are a large expense, but fuck it, buy yourself that fancy watch or those pair of heels you’ve been wanting. Moisturize. Remember those you’ve lost, for they left imprints in your heart for a very special reason. Take vitamins. Don’t forget to cut yourself some slack sometimes, you’ve been doing better than you think. Never wear wrinkled clothes, you look messy for christ sake. Own a dog. Eat every type of food you possibly can and improve your palette. Do your laundry once a week. Thank those who are honest with you, because sometimes whether good or bad, it’s nice to hear the truth. Always have napkins or tissues in your car. Strive to inspire others, for they may give you some unexpected inspiration of your own. Never give up on love and happiness. Be supportive of other people’s ambitions. Give good advice to others, some people could really use it. Never go to sleep angry. Be thankful for nostalgia, for remembering how you felt at a certain time in your life or what it was like being at a certain place. Nostalgia is an amazing, beautiful feeling of good memories that signals happiness in your brain...these memories make us grateful for living a good life. Live a good life. But I’m serious about that waking up early thing...it gives you more time in the day, and more time to take over the world.

Thanks Life

       As some of you may know, I started a new job about 2 weeks ago now. This job is more on the career path I want to be on, it came with better salary and benefits, great people, and is at a thriving family-owned company. One of my favorite parts about it is that it’s no more than 12 minutes from my apartment. This privilege allows me to drive home for an hour lunch break everyday and take care of our dog and relax before heading back to finish the second half of the day.

       So last week I was heading back to work from my break and little did I know my good mood would soon turn into the most annoyed mood I’ve been in in a while. As I approached this light down my street, I got in the left lane to make a left. While the light was red, I lifted my iPhone up for a moment to check the time and see if I had any messages and I quickly placed the phone down as the light turned green. As soon as I turned left, there was a young cop riding my ass. Shocking, I know. I didn’t think much of it until I realized he was pulling me over.

       I had no clue what the problem was as I pulled to the side of the main road and put my hazard lights on. I grabbed my registration and insurance card out of my glove box before the cop even got to my window. As he approached, I turned off my radio and pulled my black sunglasses up on my head. When I handed him my information I asked the per usual question “Is everything alright, officer?”

“You can’t be on your phone.”

“Be on my phone? I wasn’t on my phone, I glanced at it at the red light to check the time for work and that was it.”

       He sarcastically went on to ask me if my car clock was not sufficient enough as I went on to explain that it indeed changes the time every now and again and I had to make sure I’d be back at work on time (which ironically now I would not be due to this bullshit.) 

       After taking his sweet time back in his car writing me a completely unfair ticket for using a cell phone, I sat in my car taking deep breaths so I would not get a sudden urge to tell this cop to go drive his car off the fucking Grand Canyon.

       The longer I sat there as people drove passed rubbernecking me, the more irate I became. Once he returned with my cell phone ticket, I simply smiled as he explained “you can’t be texting or even looking at your phone.” Then I closed my window as he walked back to his car. As I drove the rest of the way to work (already late) I became more and more angry, considering the fact that I haven’t gotten pulled over in like 3 years and haven’t gotten any kind of ticket in like 5. Not to mention I didn’t really do anything wrong. I wish I was at least talking on the phone or something, then I would have understood. Luckily, my boss understands the cops around here and totally related to my story.

       Anyway, as the day grew on I became more annoyed at the cop for screwing me over so he could look good, I fantasized about how I would go to court and fight the ticket, what I would say, what I would wear, and how I’d print up my phone and text records to show I was not utilizing the phone in that fashion. For the next while, I obsessed over this. The next day, as I prepared for an important meeting with my boss and the Senior Vice President of the company I’m working for, it dawned on me...I’m being tested right now.

       Yes, the ticket got under my skin and yes I’ll have to pay an unreasonable amount of money, and yes I’ll have to move on with my week, my work, and my life. Things could SURELY be worse. The universe is testing my patience and strength, am I passing?

       If you think about it, life is a series of tests. You get into a fender bender on your way home from a rough day at work, you get sick right before a concert you spent a decent amount of money on the tickets for, you wake up and glance at your alarm clock that you realize didn’t go off as you spring out of bed running late for work, you wind up working at the same office as your ex-girlfriend’s new guy (awkward!), you spent an hour at the grocery store and drove all the way home before remembering that you walked out without the main thing you went in for, you spill coffee on your pants as you’re driving to go on a hot date, you’re unhappy on a certain morning and have to deal with trying to look happy for the rest of the day, you’re angry and have to try to calm yourself down, or you’re stressed from all the external things this life throws in our direction. How are you dealing with it? Are you stressing yourself out more or are you being your own supporter? 

       The funny thing is most of these “tests” life gives us are challenges. Most of the tests are testing your stress level, your patience, your knowledge, your strength, your passion, your self control, your ability to move on, your awareness, your confidence, your maturity, your ability to learn, and much more. The ironic part about it is that life may provide the tests, but you are the one who gets to grade them.

       Just like with me and my recent ticket experience, I could have chosen to go to court and take time off from my new job to go and pursue some asshole cop who had nothing better to do. He is not worth it and it is not worth it. By the time I drove over there, paid the court fees, and the money I’d lose taking off from work, I’m better off paying the ticket and relieving myself of any hassles. Karma, I need you to step in on this one for me. What’s the lesson of this test? ...Letting it go.

       I’ve learned that it’s not so much grading yourself on the tests presented to you, but more so finding the valuable lessons behind them.

       Sometimes you fail to appreciate success, you lose so you can understand the joy of winning, sometimes problems arise so you can learn to let them go, or you get heartbroken to build up strength, sometimes you forget something important so you’ll always remember it, or you get too much piled on your plate so you can learn how to manage, sometimes people will hurt you so you can be a better judge of character, or people may pop up in your life that you rather not see so you can showcase your grace and maturity, and sometimes certain things will pressure you so you learn how to adapt and overcome. 

       So despite the stress, pressure, worries, angry moments, sadness, awkwardness, breakdowns, shutdowns and meltdowns...sometimes you just have to keep in mind life is testing your limits. And when appropriate, throw your hands up and sarcastically scream out “THANKS LIFE!”

       No matter what is testing you recently, remember you get to give yourself a gold star or mark your life up with those all too familiar red marks and make some adjustments. More importantly, keep in mind that within every test lies a lesson.