Dependent on Independence

       Today I was thinking of independence.  Just the general idea of how people strive to be independent in their lives. I find this to be a great trait. Everyone should want to stand on their own two feet and be able to do things for themselves.

       At the same time though, have we grown to think of accepting help from others to be a sign of “weakness”? Have we become dependent on independence? Whether it’s emotionally, physically, or financially...this struggle seems to be present. 

       Some guys are raised on the notion that if they cry, they aren’t “being a man”...that they seem weak. Trust me, I know of guys who have probably never shed a tear in their life. Talk about suppression. Or the girl who lives in fear that she’s being perceived as too emotional when she has a good cry. 

       We’ve all known or heard of someone who might be a little too old to do certain things for themselves and may feel bad for the family member needing to take care of them. A person who might have gotten in a serious accident and needs help walking, eating, showering, etc. Or have you ever had to ask your relatives or a loved one to loan you some money? We feel somewhat ashamed don’t we? We feel belittled.

       All of these people are not only frustrated with their situation at hand...but the real underlying fact is that they have suddenly moved from being independent to dependent upon someone. Whether you become emotionally dependent when you’re having a rough day and just need someone’s affection, physically dependent when something serious happens to you and you wouldn’t be able to manage without the assistance of someone else, or financially dependent when our lives of bills, payments, rent, and daily responsibilities happens to be kicking us in the ass lately.

       Yes, independence is a wonderful thing. But if anyone has a belief that they will coast through life never needing anyone’s attention and never needing anyone’s help...well at one point or even several points in their life, they will be proven terribly wrong. Life is crazy. We all know it and we’ve all come to terms with that. Without people we wouldn’t have made it through our childhood. We needed our parents to change our diapers and our little friends to color with us. Without people we wouldn’t have made it through high school. We needed our teachers to teach us & our friends to give us the answers to the test we didn’t study for. Without people we wouldn’t have made it through college. We needed someone to carry us home from a long night of binge drinking, save us from the crazy homeless man on the corner street, and pay for our 7 beers we ordered that we didn’t have money for. Without people we wouldn’t make it through work. We need our co-worker to fill in for us on our sick day & keep us up to date. And even later on in life, your family, your friends, your significant other or spouse...what would we do without them?

       Without them who would we bitch about our bad week to? Who would we laugh with? Who would we make memories with? Who would be there to carry you if you couldn’t walk again? Who would be there if you were buried in your bills? Who would be there to hold you while you cried?

       Think of all the times you’ve helped someone in this way. Did you mind? Because more times than not, I’m sure you were happy to do so. So just don’t forget that when you’re on the other end of the deal.

       Admit it, we’ve been depending upon people since the day we were born. It is the way of the world. So yes, be independent but do not feel ashamed to ask for help, to need someone’s help, and to receive someone’s help. We all need a shoulder to cry on, someone to take care of us in a time in need, and someone to help pay that unexpected bill you may not be able to pay for this month.

       If you need to depend on someone, do not feel ashamed and do not feel weak. Anyone who knows you knows you stand on your own two feet all year round and if there is a day or two that you need help, than accept the kind gesture and keep it moving.

       Remember, depending on others is part of life and a part of living. Make sure those in your life can depend on you for help....just don’t kick yourself in the ass when you’re the one needing it.