The saying goes “Dance like nobody’s watching and love like you’ve never been hurt.” Granted, it’s a good concept, but does anyone really do that? I mean, you may dance a bit more freely after a few drinks at the club, but most would still tone it down enough, because we know people ARE watching. I’d say, the only time you’re going to dance like no one is watching, is when no one really is. And the same thing goes for love like you’ve never been hurt. Most of us are damaged due to the disappointments from ones we cared for, hoarse voices from yelling matches, and dried tears from cries of emotion. I’d say anyone loving like they’ve never been hurt...probably has not truly been hurt before.
My theory is a bit different on this one. Like I’ve mentioned before, we live in a shark-infested world. Don’t get me wrong, I am not completely cynical about this but we all know, most people do not give a shit about you. Other than your family, close friends, and significant other, most don’t give a damn what you’re doing. And some of us unfortunately have had the chances of realizing that even these people might prove you wrong in trusting them. The world-wide discovery of backstabbing friends, cheating lovers, and deceiving family members has left me wondering...the value of trust is becoming endangered or quite possibly extinct. Like the Ivory-billed Woodpecker.
So I say yes, on occasion, definitely dance like no one is watching. Because even if you do you’re probably still in the clear, aside from a few embarrassing or slight regrettable moments. Just make sure you have fun while doing it and don’t fall over in your heels in front of the guy you like.
But I also say, I think it’s completely natural and actually quite healthy to love like you HAVE been hurt. We make it too easy for people to get in sometimes, that you leave yourself never quite fully sure that they would have fought to get in, if it turned out to be a bit of a challenge to do so. And I’m not saying be difficult on purpose. I’ll be the first person to tell you, follow your heart and go with your gut. But if your heart has been beaten to a pulp in the past, I’m just looking out for you in saying...put some bubble wrap around that bitch once it’s repaired, and let someone pop a few bubbles to get to it.
I would rather have someone fight off a few barriers to get to me than leave the door unlocked and wide-open with a flowered “Welcome” mat out front. This turns out to be beneficial for everyone involved and I’ll tell you why. Well for you, you’ll know for sure that this person really cares about you, or else they wouldn’t have stuck it through to get to really know you. You’ll feel at ease knowing that they truly thought you were and are worth the fight. You will know that this person is worthy of obtaining something as fragile, valuable, and precious, as your heart. And for them, well they’ll know that you don’t just let anyone in, and that’s a good thing trust me. They’ll know that you are wise enough to protect yourself and in turn will protect them as well. And they will know that they are falling for a self-respected, intelligent, and emotionally-in tune person (which I’d hope is what they are looking for).
And as far as the extinction of trust. The one’s who really really want you to trust them, will do what it takes to prove that you should. And it’s crazy how life works. I realized it can be a cycle of disappointment and then happiness. I mean, life is never perfect. There may be things that stay constant in your life, but life itself never is. And honestly, despite old flames that have left you with some burn marks, one day you may and can be lucky enough to find someone who actually cares. And hey, I’m not guaranteeing it will always work out. Nothing in life is ever for certain, and we are all aware of this unsettling but valid fact.
Even when you are in a miserable place, or a boring place, or a confusing place, or a place of complete habit and every day seems as repetitive and basic as the last, when you meet the right person, the coming days will be different. You’ll find yourself enjoying little tiny things about life that you were too miserable or bored to notice before. Like driving on an average day actually really enjoying the wind blowing through the back window of your car, or walking down the street and breathing in the air and loving the fact that you can smell summer coming. Like waking up in the morning and driving yet another day to work and finding yourself laughing really hard out loud to the morning radio jokes or singing loudly to a Taylor Swift song at 7 A.M. before you’ve even had your cup of Dunkin' Donuts iced coffee.
Some people may really surprise you in life, and the things you thought were impossible to get, impossible to want, impossible to have...somehow and some way, become all of a sudden very possible. And being human, once we have something we’ve been waiting all this time for and everything seems perfect, we immediately worry about it being taken away from us. And yes, unfortunately there is the possibility that it may not always be there. But crazy thought here....what if, this one time, it stayed?!
I say, the stock of trust has been in the negative for all too long, and I’m throwing my life savings into it now, because I have a feeling that things may be looking up. Take all the trust you have in those friends that have always had your back, the family members that have supported you and loved you, and the lucky ones who you’ve trusted enough to obtain your heart, and be more grateful now than ever. I know trust may be endangered, but we must not let it go extinct. Protect it’s habitat, protect it’s presence, protect it’s value. Trust in trust.
And if you are that person, who’s found this newly born trust and happiness. You may be wondering...“too good to be true."
Well, I was once that person thinking that. But this time, I’m going with...“too good not to be true.”
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