No Wasted Talent

       Everyone dreams. Books are written about it, movies are made about it and people do it constantly in their daily lives.

       There are these very significant situations and times when I dream extra big. One of these times is during my 78 minute train ride into NYC. Something about it really inspires me. All the different types of people coming on and off the train, the sound of the NJ Transit Staff clicking peoples’ tickets, the passing scenery consisting of townhouses, swampy areas, little rivers, overfilled dumpsters, grassy fields, smokey factories, and shopping plazas. Aside from all of that I think the notion that I will be arriving in the Big Apple shortly is the most inspiring feeling about it. The visual of walking out of Penn Station and seeing the bright lights, honking cars, tall buildings, and the widest array of different types of people, is like nothing else in the world.

       For me, this trip gets the wheels in my brain turning. I feel like I should be a star. And even though everyone taking your order at the local brew pub is allegedly saving up for their “big break,” I just don’t feel too discouraged yet. I feel like I can do something great, although at times it can feel it’s as likely as winning the Megamillions Jackpot or winning big two times in one night in Atlantic City. But I’m sure it’s been done.

       My reason for being on the train on this day was a good one. I was on my way to the recording studio for the second time to finish a song that I am collaborating on with a good old friend of mine. The first time I was there I felt like I belonged. I felt more comfortable than a quiet Sunday afternoon drinking an Amstel Light on my couch.

       When I think about it, I’ve been singing and rapping (yes, rapping) since I was in middle school. I did every show the school had to offer. I sang, I danced. Now that I think of it, I was essentially a theater geek. In high school it got more serious and more frequent. In college I would sing and rap at parties, especially after a few Red Bull and vodkas. And I swear, there were plenty of times that random people I didn’t know would come up to me and be like “Oh shit, you’re the girl who raps right?” . . . Very flattering to say the least. It wasn’t until after college that I had a true epiphany.

       One night I was at a local bar and after a few drinks I realized everyone there seemed bored. It was a random Thursday night. I felt obligated to turn things around. I walked up to the DJ booth and I said “Hey, let me freestyle.” He looked at my 5’1, curly-haired self, standing there with my button up, skinny jeans, and boots, in utter confusion. He seemed hesitant. So I reassured him. “Dude, just put on a beat and give me the microphone. It’s dead in here.” He glared at me and said “Alriiiiight.” Almost as if I was walking into a lion’s den . . Little did he know.

       I held the mic up tightly in my right hand. The beat started. I started ripping every line that came to my head. Everything rhymed and everything made sense. (Relief). In the midst of my first performance I noticed people were looking at me with their arms raised and head bopping. “People were actually liking it?”, I thought to myself. I was filled with this overwhelming excitement, a true and natural high of all highs. I started walking around the bar still going, my friends behind me amping me up. I spit out the last line my drunken self could come up with and put the mic down on the bar. Performance complete. The 35 people at Park East just had the best live exclusive personal performance from Erika Alexa. I sat back at the bar drinking my light beer as if nothing had happened. I had several people come up to me saying how “awesome that was,” how they “couldn’t believe I had enough balls to do that,” and some even gave me their e-mails and were selling me on the idea of doing music like they were Ari Gold from Entourage. 

       It wasn’t until one guy said “You could be famous!” That it really hit me. All these years, every party, every car ride somewhere, every time I let my friends and random people hear me, I’ve never received negative feedback. I’ve had nothing but support and encouragement to do something with it. One of my favorite people once told me something I’ll never forget. “No talent should go to waste,” aka no wasted talent. I loved it.

       That night changed my life. I started networking, meeting people just as into music as me and made friends with very talented folk. I started writing more, practicing more, and focusing. I was and still am, on a road to perfecting my so-called talent. 

       And let’s not get it twisted, I am not trying to be anything I’m not. I’m no gangster (well not completely). But seriously, I am not rapping about shooting AK47s or bumping jams in my Aston Martin. Plus, I sing too. What I write has emotion to it and I talk about real things in life. Relationships, love, life, friends, with the occasional times I just have fun with it. And honestly, with people like Soulja Boy, Gucci Mane, Waka Flocka Flame, and Rick Ross on the radio, I sincerely find my songs way better...and I’d probably beat them in a freestyle battle on any given day considering they rhyme as good as a 4th grader.

       So there I was, staring out the window on the train, dreaming of someday people getting something out of my music. And yeah, maybe I won’t ever be the next Nicki Minaj and maybe not everyone will even give a shit. But what’s the harm in trying? Anyone who ever succeeded in anything had to try and work at it and perhaps overcome people telling them they’d fail miserably, right? I’m at least lucky enough to have great support from even greater friends. And at the very least, it’s fun to do. It’ll give me something productive to do with my time and relieve some of the daily stress of just merely living. 

       And no one can truly understand that until you’ve seen the priceless look of awe on your friends faces after you play them a song or hear your voice being blasted out of a $40,000 speaker unit in a NYC studio. No matter what, I am thrilled to do it, be a part of it, and do something I truly love. And probably the most important thing of all...my talent is not going to waste.

       Dream big and dream on. Because it’s better to dream, than live in a nightmare.