Beware the Bucket-Drainer

       A few months back I had an "off-site meeting" for work. What this means is that everyone goes to this nice building somewhere, drinks coffee, has pasta for lunch, and does an array of mind-numbing "team building" activities. Not to be a grinch but unless you're planning on becoming the CEO of the company, these meetings really do not hold any value to you. You sit quietly as you hear about the company's mission statement, about what's new in the department, business news, and a bunch of other really exciting topics. It reminds me of how I can't stop searching for a new, more interesting, job and never give up on my music or this growing blog. Anyway, my point of mentioning this is there was one good thing about this off-site meeting. We all received this book called "How Full Is Your Bucket?"

       Although the book's focus is around how to keep morale high in companies, the main concept is about a theory that we each have a "bucket" and everyday, every interaction we engage in, every person we speak to...either helps fill up our bucket or empty it.

       The theory analyzes the power of human interaction and how your mood and day can really be impacted by other people. A simple compliment on your outfit, a congrats on your recent accomplishment, or a sincere thank you for your hard work, can really alter your mood.

       Although the book mainly applies this theory to the workplace environment, I've coined this "bucket" theory and include the idea into my daily life. Now, there are two different types of people you will encounter on a daily basis: A bucket-filler and a bucket-drainer.

       The almighty bucket-filler:

       The person complimenting you, the person who smiles and says "hello" as you walk passed each other in the cereal aisle at the grocery store. The person who went out of their way to e-mail your manager at work to tell him you're a delight to work with. The person who let you merge into the lane during heavy 5 o'clock traffic. The person who gives you credit when credit is due, and the obvious...people who support you, cheer you on, believe in you, help you, are there for you, who love you and care about you.

       And it is very important to note that your bucket level doesn't always depend on direct interactions toward you. The way a person speaks or the topics they chose to discuss in your presence play a huge role in the well-being of your bucket. Being around people who constantly have mean things to speak of or puts people down, does a great deal on emptying your bucket. Which brings us to our second type of person...

       Beware of the bucket-drainer:

       The person who ALWAYS complains, the "negative Nancy", the person who never smiles at work. The person who doesn't hold the door for you entering the building even though they saw you behind them, the person who never has anything nice to say, and the obvious...people who hate on you, go against you, who don't believe in you or care for your well-being.

       And also beware of shady conversations. Having to listen to a 20-minute conversation about why someone doesn't like people of a certain race, overhearing someone bashing their significant other, or constantly hearing someone complain about their life are all types of things that, low and behold, will drain your bucket. Hey, we all have our days when we need a "bitching break". But I'm talking about a personality type, not the normal, occasional, negative thinking. I'm speaking of a true bucket-drainer here.

       And I wont leave out the fact that some people may have reasons for being this way. Maybe they grew up a certain way, maybe the were raised a certain way, maybe they had their heart broken or they hate their job. Maybe they lost an opportunity or perhaps they were sheltered as a kid.

       Despite any of these reasons, I tent to not have sympathy or understanding for these types of people. We all have our problems, issues, were raised a certain way, seen some shit, done some shit, and been through some shit. Does that give us all an excuse to go around town draining the life out of everyone else?!

       I have realized that when I was younger I used to not know how important people's vibes really were in one's life. We usually tend to try to not be rude, for the most part. So we let things slide and we sometimes try to overlook people's pointless, negative topics of conversation. Trust me, whether you realize it or not, you usually walk away with some, if not all, of your positivity drained out of you. Not only that, but I've had to listen to people being racist, arrogant, rude, or constantly sarcastic, and have walked away feeling damn right pissed off!

       As I've gotten older I've realized the importance of good-hearted people, intelligent people, positive people, and people who have something of substance to discuss. I have come to acknowledge that having "bucket-drainers" in your life is not worth it. If it's family, than I understand its hard to avoid that. But if it's someone else, you should choose to limit your interaction with them. Whether it's school, work, or just life in general, keep your bucket-drainers out of your life, or at least to a bare minimum.

       So keep this "bucket" theory in mind. Not only is it important to the well-being of your life on a daily basis, but from what I've observed, it holds a lot of truth. Also, don't forget to look at yourself...Are you a bucket-filler or bucket-drainer?

       Remember, filling other people's buckets helps fill yours! So next time someone compliments you, helps you out, or does something nice for you...don't forget to thank them for filling your bucket. And next time you're sitting at dinner or out with friends having to deal with listening to someone speaking inappropriate, offensive, or rude...know that it's your choice to be around the right people. Surround yourself with good people who will enrich your life instead of draining your positivity!

       So next time you're in an off-mood, not feeling so hot, or feeling a bit down...take a look and observe the people who you have surrounding you and ask yourself "How full is my bucket?”