Saturday, May 28, 2011

Excuse me, I believe you have my stapler...

       I always found the movie “Office Space” to be hilarious, but it was the other day while sitting in another long day of corporate meetings at work that I suddenly realized what inspired Mike Judge to write this film.
        Working in the corporate world is something many of us do. So I am sure I am not the only one who feels this way. For those of you finishing up college and looking forward to working full-time, you may not find your words of inspiration in this blog entry...just a heads up. For those of you in this similar situation and working in corporate America, you will most likely relate, and perhaps even feel like you wrote this yourself.
       When I graduated WVU I went through the dreaded but sometimes exciting and sometimes disappointing job search. This consisted of constantly signing in to Careerbuilder and Monster.com with some breaks in between to go grab a granola bar to fuel up for some more online searching. I was eager to start my career and to see some more green paper in my life.
       I finally landed a job and was as happy as can be. I bought some new pressed business pants, nice summer dresses, and patent leather high heels. I was ready to at least dress the part first.
       Although the commute was less than appealing (over an hour to and from), I got to work feeling determined and accomplished every day. I volunteered to help others, I stayed late, and kept busy at all times.
       Recently, I just had my one year anniversary as a full-time working woman and I noticed the other day that I am starting to feel unfulfilled at work and borderline miserable. And I’m not saying I’m miserable every day or a miserable person, but I am saying that work has gotten to a point of altering my mood and not necessarily in a positive way.
       I find myself mad at my keyboard and at times thinking I’m burning away my eyesight as I stare at mind-numbing documents on my HP desktop computer screen. I can’t stand the voice of the woman on the phone on the other side of me talking to someone about her recently purchased red area rug for her living room.
       And then it dawned on me....
       I realized that I am starting to hate practically everything about the corporate America lifestyle and all it entails. The free cheap coffee in the break room, pressed khakis, the colorful ties, the button up shirts, suits, cuff links, the noise the printer makes when it’s running low on ink, and waiting for the elevator. The ringing phones, paper clips, stapler refills, the sound of my manager walking by, laptop bags, brief cases, security badges, and the smell of Chicken Noodle Soup in the cafeteria. Uncomfortable computer chairs, wooden desks, manila envelopes and folders, filing cabinets, online databases, “out of office” e-mails, teleconference codes, projection screens, presentations, and early morning meetings. Appointments, calendar invites on Microsoft Outlook,  “Your mailbox is full” notifications, yellow highlighters, parking passes, Post-It notes, data, deadlines, research, file, save as, share, print, copy, past, select all, uploads, downloads, and workloads. Cubes, bland wallpaper, corner offices, tucked-in shirts and Monday through Fridays. 
       And aside from inanimate objects and in-office experiences, there then comes the bland, repetitive, annoyingly boring topics of conversation that these slaves to their wooden desk speak about. 
       The generic “How was your weekend?” with the overly used response “Too short.” Or talks about the 2 o’clock meeting, taking a “much needed vacation”, when the next holiday is, “Is it Friday yet?”, or the most annoying of all...the talks about the Goddamn weather. “It’s rainy,” “it’s cold,” “it’s hot,” “it’s windy,” “it’s muggy,” “it’s sunny,” “it’s gloomy”....It’s Goddamn annoying is what it is.
       I started calculating certain things time-wise as well. Trying to figure out how much of my fucking life I devote to this working situation. An average corporate American works the standard 8 hours a day, 40 hours a week. This turns to be 160 hours a month, which adds up to be 1920 hours a year, give or take a few holidays or vacation days. And now for the commute. As previously mentioned, I drive about a little over an hour to and from work which turns out to be over 2 hours a day, 10 hours a week, and 480 hours a year. Scary when you think about it huh? Unless you absolutely adore what you do, which many of us do not...this can be a very unsettling realization. I spend about 20 DAYS a year, just DRIVING to this place. Not only does this make me want to somehow purchase a jet pack, but it makes me want to find a new job. 
       I know I am a hard-worker, determined, and smart. I can do a lot of good things for a company...and I have for this one. It’s a good job and the paycheck is nice, but it’s hard when you’re working for the first year in the real world and you realize it isn’t the glitz and glamour you had imagined. I’m just hoping that as I become more successful and experienced, that I can find a job somewhere that I don’t have to be stuck at a desk for hours a day. No one went to college to get the “Office Desk” degree. I want to be out and about, meeting people and doing things. I studied Public Relations not fucking Cubicle Hell.
       Perhaps, this week was just a rough week at work. Oh well, this blog is for venting after-all. I shall utilize it for this purpose. I can only hope I can be one of those people that finds a job that allows for some excitement and creativity, because TPS Reports are not for me.
       ...Is it Friday yet?

No comments:

Post a Comment