Many business experts have written about the “keys to success.” But of course, I got to thinking of something different. I felt that being truly happy is the real definition of succeeding in life. I decided this was a topic I could not provide advice just on my own, so I took to my Facebook page, where I opened the lines for people to give me their advice and tips on what they truly feel to be the real “keys to happiness.”
I had a good amount of responses so I attempted to group them together into similar ideas. Here is what you thought:
What do you think are the keys to happiness?
The debate is over, the glass is half full!
Many people responded to my loaded question with the notion of being positive. The idea that happiness is up to looking on the brighter side of things and not focusing on the negatives. Perhaps we can be happier in life simply with how we view the world? Some thought this was the key element to happiness. One of my friends put it quite well saying, “when you come across a situation take a minute, slow down, think about things and bring something positive to the table. Always look for the positive, take your time in life, sit back and look at all the beauty that it has to offer. Most of all just let the positivity flow all day everyday.” With all the negativity that can come around in life, it may be in our best interest to just focus on the positive and good. I have found that any dark night has a star lighting up the sky, any rain drop can lead to a flower, and any hard situation can make you a better person. So perhaps it isn’t the debate of whether the glass is half empty or full, but perhaps it may be better to just focus on the fact that there is simply something in it.
Many people responded to my loaded question with the notion of being positive. The idea that happiness is up to looking on the brighter side of things and not focusing on the negatives. Perhaps we can be happier in life simply with how we view the world? Some thought this was the key element to happiness. One of my friends put it quite well saying, “when you come across a situation take a minute, slow down, think about things and bring something positive to the table. Always look for the positive, take your time in life, sit back and look at all the beauty that it has to offer. Most of all just let the positivity flow all day everyday.” With all the negativity that can come around in life, it may be in our best interest to just focus on the positive and good. I have found that any dark night has a star lighting up the sky, any rain drop can lead to a flower, and any hard situation can make you a better person. So perhaps it isn’t the debate of whether the glass is half empty or full, but perhaps it may be better to just focus on the fact that there is simply something in it.
Don’t sweat the small stuff, enjoy them
People also focused on the importance of appreciating the little things in life. As some of us may be too busy with our lives to stop once in a while and enjoy something on a smaller scale. Considering life consists of many of these little things each and every day, I thought it was a great addition to the list. Be grateful for your significant other’s smile in the morning, the laugher you have with a friend, watching your dog run around frantically chasing after her tail, watching a movie on a rainy day, taking your Dad out to dinner, spending time with family. Whatever these little things are for you...make sure they aren’t passing you by.
Love a dub dub
This one may seem obvious for some, and not so much for others. This can come in many forms. Love in your relationship, friendships, family, and the love you have for yourself! “The key to happiness is learning to love yourself”, one person said. As cliche as it sounds, love does make the world go round, and you’d be surprised what spreading a little love can really do. I find it is truly good for the soul. As far as love being one of the keys to happiness, someone put it perfectly, “it is the simplest one and the most important”.
This one may seem obvious for some, and not so much for others. This can come in many forms. Love in your relationship, friendships, family, and the love you have for yourself! “The key to happiness is learning to love yourself”, one person said. As cliche as it sounds, love does make the world go round, and you’d be surprised what spreading a little love can really do. I find it is truly good for the soul. As far as love being one of the keys to happiness, someone put it perfectly, “it is the simplest one and the most important”.
What do you like to do?
Everyone likes to say they enjoy “hobbies”, but do we really have any? According to the wonderful folks who responded, this is a vital key to happiness! Considering our focused pursuit to happiness will at times get side-tracked by stress, anxiety, fear, pressure, sadness, and the rest, it is these hobbies that will be our much needed relief at times, when needing to forget problems or just simply relax and take a load off. Many people said that whatever interests you, whether it is cooking, music, art, writing, painting, reading, etc, that you should ensure to “dedicate a significant amount of time to it” and “do them as often as you can to keep your mind and body in tune.” I concur!
Everyone likes to say they enjoy “hobbies”, but do we really have any? According to the wonderful folks who responded, this is a vital key to happiness! Considering our focused pursuit to happiness will at times get side-tracked by stress, anxiety, fear, pressure, sadness, and the rest, it is these hobbies that will be our much needed relief at times, when needing to forget problems or just simply relax and take a load off. Many people said that whatever interests you, whether it is cooking, music, art, writing, painting, reading, etc, that you should ensure to “dedicate a significant amount of time to it” and “do them as often as you can to keep your mind and body in tune.” I concur!
Dear Stress,
Fuck off.
Sincerely, Personal Management
So we all know stress likes to come up and bite us in the ass. Are we managing it right? With all the stress and pressure life can put on you, it is important to note that stress management is a key to happiness. Why? Well not only did many of you include this in your list, but I mean let’s face it, stress is inevitable and it’s up to us to not let it consume our life or on a smaller scale, our day. As one person put it, “life is all about managing situations and being able to adapt and change with the eps and flows of life.” Managing situations, indeed. Just make sure to do whatever you can to relieve yourself of unnecessary stress - wake up on time for work, give yourself extra time to get to your doctor’s appointment, write shit down so you don’t forget, don’t blow your money at the bar when you know you have your car payment due next week. In general, whatever IS in your control, please make it work in your favor. Let yourself de-stress, so you’re not in distress.
So we all know stress likes to come up and bite us in the ass. Are we managing it right? With all the stress and pressure life can put on you, it is important to note that stress management is a key to happiness. Why? Well not only did many of you include this in your list, but I mean let’s face it, stress is inevitable and it’s up to us to not let it consume our life or on a smaller scale, our day. As one person put it, “life is all about managing situations and being able to adapt and change with the eps and flows of life.” Managing situations, indeed. Just make sure to do whatever you can to relieve yourself of unnecessary stress - wake up on time for work, give yourself extra time to get to your doctor’s appointment, write shit down so you don’t forget, don’t blow your money at the bar when you know you have your car payment due next week. In general, whatever IS in your control, please make it work in your favor. Let yourself de-stress, so you’re not in distress.
You are who you hang with
Newsflash! All these years, our parents were right. The people you associate with affect not only your happiness but your life! A few of you mentioned that good friendships are very important to one’s happiness and it is the “quality of friendships and not the quantity.” And many of you stated the importance of keeping good, positive, and like-minded people around you. As one person put it, “Get rid of the people that aren’t having a positive influence on your life. Eliminating other people’s craziness/immaturity/negativity can improve your overall morale and outlook.” [For more of my insight on this please see the “How Full Is Your Bucket” entry. ;) ]
Newsflash! All these years, our parents were right. The people you associate with affect not only your happiness but your life! A few of you mentioned that good friendships are very important to one’s happiness and it is the “quality of friendships and not the quantity.” And many of you stated the importance of keeping good, positive, and like-minded people around you. As one person put it, “Get rid of the people that aren’t having a positive influence on your life. Eliminating other people’s craziness/immaturity/negativity can improve your overall morale and outlook.” [For more of my insight on this please see the “How Full Is Your Bucket” entry. ;) ]
There were many notable items that people mentioned that didn’t necessarily fall into any special category but I felt were equally important when coming up with our keys to happiness. They are as follows:
-”Animal companionship”
-”Being confident in yourself”
-”Looking & feeling healthy”
-”Work to pay for the things you like to do and want because no matter how much you like your job, it’s still work and should not define you.”
-”Have realistic goals and achieve them!”
-”A balance of caring what other people think and how I’m perceived but also not taking it TOO seriously and not caring about what TOO many other people think.
-”This may sound cliche and cynical and I’d love to go in a different more noble direction, but the more and more I think about it and the older I get the more I believe it to be the simple truth. Money”
-”Securing your physical and mental and/or emotional strength”
-”Honesty”
-”Live logically. Base your decisions off of one question “Does this shit make sense? If not, chances are you shouldn’t do it. People tend to complicate life by adding rules and guidelines (religion, politics, etc) that are usually based off of archaic ways of thinking. Just do what you know is right, and things tend to turn out for the better.”
One person answered my question with a single famous quote that they try to live by:
“The problem often not discovered until late in life, is that when you look for things in life like love, meaning, motivation, it implies they are sitting behind a tree or under a rock. The most successful people in life recognize, that in life they create their own love, they manufacture their own meaning, they generate their own motivation.”
The Keys to Happiness, according to me.
(You didn’t think I’d leave you hanging without my side of this story, now did you?)
In case you were wondering what my keys are... Here’s my list (so far):
No over-thinking!
I have a very active and detailed mind. This helps me excel at work and my music and writing, but can burden me in other areas of life. I work every day at improving myself and making sure I am spending time thinking about the things that are worthy of my thoughts and will benefit me for the better. (Work in progress!) So make sure to not over think things in your life. As I learned in college, KISS: Keep It Simple, Stupid.
Ah, Outlets.
I don’t think I’d be the same person if I didn’t have the time to spend on singing and writing my music and writing this blog.These are highly important outlets for me in life, they not only help me vent and use my creativity, but every time I get to write and record music or every time I hit “post” on Facebook for people to read my blog...I have a feeling of happiness that is indescribable. I truly love it. I believe our passion in life comes from doing things we are passionate about. Find what you truly love to do, ask it to marry you, and never get distant or divorced.
I don’t think I’d be the same person if I didn’t have the time to spend on singing and writing my music and writing this blog.These are highly important outlets for me in life, they not only help me vent and use my creativity, but every time I get to write and record music or every time I hit “post” on Facebook for people to read my blog...I have a feeling of happiness that is indescribable. I truly love it. I believe our passion in life comes from doing things we are passionate about. Find what you truly love to do, ask it to marry you, and never get distant or divorced.
Throw yourself a bone!
Believe it or not, I am my biggest critic! And from many conversations with people, it seems to be a popular trend among many of us. Sometimes we don’t cut ourselves some slack! We have a lot more to be proud of than we think. Stop beating yourself up and give yourself a Goddamn pat on the back.
Believe it or not, I am my biggest critic! And from many conversations with people, it seems to be a popular trend among many of us. Sometimes we don’t cut ourselves some slack! We have a lot more to be proud of than we think. Stop beating yourself up and give yourself a Goddamn pat on the back.
Love is in the air
I know I’ve written a lot about my relationship with J, our life here and our cute dog we have, but this is a serious and vital part of my happiness. Not everyone will get the chance at experiencing true love, but I am so happy and grateful that I have the luxury. In my opinion, life is so much better with the right plus one. Having someone to make me laugh every day, to tell me everything will be okay when I’m upset, to hug me at the end of a stressful day at work, to fix the sink when I would have no fucking idea what I would do, to take the dog out when I’m too tired in the morning, to say “I love you” every night before falling asleep...these things enrich my life and make me appreciate the little things that are oh so important. J is one of the key elements in my happiness and I make sure to thank him every day. So whether your kind of love comes from a relationship, friend, or family member, make sure you thank them for the important role they play in your life.
I know I’ve written a lot about my relationship with J, our life here and our cute dog we have, but this is a serious and vital part of my happiness. Not everyone will get the chance at experiencing true love, but I am so happy and grateful that I have the luxury. In my opinion, life is so much better with the right plus one. Having someone to make me laugh every day, to tell me everything will be okay when I’m upset, to hug me at the end of a stressful day at work, to fix the sink when I would have no fucking idea what I would do, to take the dog out when I’m too tired in the morning, to say “I love you” every night before falling asleep...these things enrich my life and make me appreciate the little things that are oh so important. J is one of the key elements in my happiness and I make sure to thank him every day. So whether your kind of love comes from a relationship, friend, or family member, make sure you thank them for the important role they play in your life.
I’m picking up good vibrations...
I know we touched on this above, but being positive is a key element in my opinion as well. Although staying positive in the midst of some not so positive stuff can be hard, it is something that must be focused on in order to keep our sanity. Even though some situations call for some ‘realism’, as I like to call it, looking at life on the brighter side can do nothing but wonders.
I know we touched on this above, but being positive is a key element in my opinion as well. Although staying positive in the midst of some not so positive stuff can be hard, it is something that must be focused on in order to keep our sanity. Even though some situations call for some ‘realism’, as I like to call it, looking at life on the brighter side can do nothing but wonders.
Dolla dolla bills ya’ll
One of my respondents above had mentioned that although it may not seem like the most noble route, that money is indeed the true key to happiness. I will agree it is ONE of the keys and I would like to think it falls into a list and doesn’t just stand by itself. That being said, I know for damn sure I am much more happy when I can pay my bills on time, buy my boyfriend that gift I wanted to get him, pay for dinner when taking my parents out to eat, and not having to knock some items off the grocery list because I don’t have enough money that week. Money is vital. For example, when you get sick, isn’t it nice to have enough money to run to Walgreens or Rite Aid and stock up on cough drops, throat spray, tissues, ice packs, and that ridiculously priced cough medicine? Some people don’t have that luxury, and yes, I can assure you it would make them happier if they did. And that’s a very small example, money can not only allow you to perform necessary tasks in life, but it can allow you to do fun things to make you happy. Like Daniel Tosh once said, “Have you ever seen a sad person on a WaveRunner?!” So work hard, save money, and be proud when you can slide your card at the store confidently, knowing you didn’t just overdraw your account. Cha-ching!
One of my respondents above had mentioned that although it may not seem like the most noble route, that money is indeed the true key to happiness. I will agree it is ONE of the keys and I would like to think it falls into a list and doesn’t just stand by itself. That being said, I know for damn sure I am much more happy when I can pay my bills on time, buy my boyfriend that gift I wanted to get him, pay for dinner when taking my parents out to eat, and not having to knock some items off the grocery list because I don’t have enough money that week. Money is vital. For example, when you get sick, isn’t it nice to have enough money to run to Walgreens or Rite Aid and stock up on cough drops, throat spray, tissues, ice packs, and that ridiculously priced cough medicine? Some people don’t have that luxury, and yes, I can assure you it would make them happier if they did. And that’s a very small example, money can not only allow you to perform necessary tasks in life, but it can allow you to do fun things to make you happy. Like Daniel Tosh once said, “Have you ever seen a sad person on a WaveRunner?!” So work hard, save money, and be proud when you can slide your card at the store confidently, knowing you didn’t just overdraw your account. Cha-ching!
Bark, Bark, Woof, Woof
Although Jade (our dog) can be the biggest pain in the ass sometimes (the 4 AM wake ups to take her outside when I have work at 8, the uncalled for random poops at the public park in front of people when I made sure she was good to go before we left, the random energetic sprints across the apartment which ends in her knocking over my freshly filled glass of iced tea, and leaving her trail of food all around her bowl instead of IN it) she is the source of a lot of extra happiness and laughter in our home. I guess J and I are lucky that we spent the time training her and she is a great dog, but there are so many days we laugh hysterically at stuff she does or just days it is extra relaxing because she’s laying down near us as we watch a movie. Dogs are not only cute, cuddly, and great companions, they are forgiving, they don’t hold grudges, they don’t hate, they don’t judge, and they are the TRUE definition of unconditional love...we can learn a lot from them.
Although Jade (our dog) can be the biggest pain in the ass sometimes (the 4 AM wake ups to take her outside when I have work at 8, the uncalled for random poops at the public park in front of people when I made sure she was good to go before we left, the random energetic sprints across the apartment which ends in her knocking over my freshly filled glass of iced tea, and leaving her trail of food all around her bowl instead of IN it) she is the source of a lot of extra happiness and laughter in our home. I guess J and I are lucky that we spent the time training her and she is a great dog, but there are so many days we laugh hysterically at stuff she does or just days it is extra relaxing because she’s laying down near us as we watch a movie. Dogs are not only cute, cuddly, and great companions, they are forgiving, they don’t hold grudges, they don’t hate, they don’t judge, and they are the TRUE definition of unconditional love...we can learn a lot from them.
How full is your bucket?
I’ve mentioned this before and I’ll say it again. Surround yourself with good people. Have in depth conversations, pick people’s brains, learn from those who are more experienced and more knowledgable. Spend time associating with people who have values, high standards, positive perspectives and respect for others. Make good friends who care about you and those who you care about. These types of people “fill” your bucket in life, while others can drain it. Make sure you are surrounding yourself with bucket-fillers or you might find yours screaming for water.
Finally, one person told me “life is as easy as you make it.” And although this seems to be a simple statement, I find there is a huge amount of truth to this.
So no matter what your keys are, make sure you are using them wisely and more importantly, let those who may not know them, in on your secret! Share the wealth, as they say.
You know, I kind of laugh at those books you see about the “keys to success” because I think they had it wrong all along. There was no need for an in-depth analysis on your career, how to build your resume, how to excel at the work place, how to save for retirement, how to get the gold watch, the logistics of a 401K, or how to create a table in Microsoft Word. There was no need for 350 pages, highly-ranked publishers, flashy hard covers or 60,00 print copies. All they needed was one page and one sentence: “The key to success is happiness.”
