Standing Room Only

Everyone on your feet! It's time for a standing ovation....for yourself.

I'd like you all to take a moment and think of a time where you should have stood up for yourself or things you believe in, and didn't. Whether it was to "be nice", to "not cause a scene", to "not upset anyone", to "not seem feisty", or whatever other reason...you didn't speak up.

Well I must say, my goal here is not to turn anyone into a raging idiot that screams at the next person that disagrees with them. But I am here to let you know, it IS okay to speak your mind. For my fellow "speak-your-minders" I applaud you...grab yourself a nice cold beer and sit back and relax on this one.

Everyday we make choices, good and bad, large or small...choices are made every minute of our day. It can start as early as when your alarm clock goes off in the morning and you're like me, deciding whether or not to press the snooze button. While you're in the shower deciding how hot to turn the water up to, what outfit to wear, whether or not to go get gas (even though you're almost on E), and you get the idea. Well when people come into the mix, our choices get even more complex and complicated at times. People agreeing or disagreeing, speaking of topics you may love or some you might despise, laughing or crying, happy or sad, mean or rude, and the list continues on and on. 

How do we deal with these things? Well, we all have our methods. And I will tell you a little bit about mine.

Many people I know and love, and many people I've had the chance to just meet in passing, have been kind and honest enough to tell me I'm one of the most relatable, down-to-earth people they have ever met. And no, I'm not taking this as an opportunity to feed my ego. Don't kill the messenger. But we all know the qualities we get complimented on the most, come on.

I'm usually told that I'm "easy to talk to" and a lot of people tell me that they “feel they’ve known me for years.” I mean, I've always been good with people in general. I perceive people well, I can usually tell what type of personality you have within talking to you for 3 minutes. I can talk to absolutely anyone, I adjust and can be like a chameleon in any environment...I change my colors and blend right in. I can always find a way to relate to people. I've always been a friendly, out-going, fun-loving type of gal. I was never embarrassed easily, and I'm still not. I don't mind being the center of attention and I also don't mind sitting in the shadows. I'm good with it all and I love all types of people. Probably one of the main reasons I got my degree in Public Relations and got my minor degree in Communications. The love of communicating and being around people. Good people, specifically.

Since I was young, I was expressive, passionate, and very open to speaking my mind. And since I'm never shy and never closed off in front of people...it has been both a burden and a blessing, to have the ability to speak freely and passionately about absolutely anything I feel necessary, without reservation.

So as far as those daily decisions we discussed earlier...I always have, and still do, opt into speaking up instead of staying quiet.

In high school I always talked shit back to anyone trying to bother me, I always walked with my head held high no matter what was going on in my life. In college, I told several people to fuck off when trying to ruin my night, never hesitated to put the drunk “I’m going to slyly try to touch your butt” guy at the bar sternly in his place, and forget about anyone trying to mess with any of my WVU fam...we would protect each other like siblings and squash you like an insect. Ehh, blame it on the fact I never had an older brother.

But in all seriousness, I'm just genuinely not scared of anyone, I'm not scared to tell someone they are wrong, or that I disagree, or that they are being rude. Why should we all sit there and be quiet? And that doesn't mean I'm trying to fight people everyday of my life, I'm just saying that there is nothing wrong with voicing your opinions, standing up for what you believe in, and being open. And perhaps that'll lead to a punch in my face, but it hasn't happened yet...and anyone who knows me knows I can take a swift punch to the face as well as any other. So bring it. This isn't Sunday school or your local public library. Let's speak the hell up.

And trust me, you will not always get a good response. Some people will hate you for being that way, they'll sum you up to be argumentative, to be a hot head, or write you off as the “Great Debater”. But whatever. Everyone has an opinion and unfortunately not everyone’s is a good or valuable one anyway. So fuck it. 

I've had several people hate my 'speak-up' type of attitude. Plenty. But to that point, none of them were my friends, none of them were people I really knew or cared about, none of them were even relevant to my life. So goes to show. My family and friends always tell me they "love that about me" and those who are more shy have told me in confidence that they "wish they could be like that." I appreciate my friends who have always had the same respect and mentality as me, and have backed me up, and for that I love them. 

So many people are quieted by others. Don't get me wrong, pick your battles. Sometimes things really, truly aren't worth a second of your time or a breath out of your lungs. But sometimes it really is worthy of it. You're the referee and that is a call only you can make or a flag you can throw. 

But when it is called for, speak up, speak out, and if needed, speak loud. Don't let anyone step on you, put you down, disrespect you, or belittle you. I don't care who it is. Life is too short to not stand up for things. Stand up for your beliefs, stand up for your respect, stand up for your life, stand up for your words, stand up for your thoughts, stand up for your friends and family, stand up for your rights, stand up for your opinions, and most importantly...stand up for yourself.

And if anyone doesn't like it, too bad. Just like the saying goes "Stand for something, or fall for anything." Well than...stand up, stand tall, stand firm, and stand confident. Put your foot down, plant your feet on the ground...and don't bow down or sit for anyone.

Pull up a chair when YOU feel like it. Sit down when you are tired of standing...don't sit because someone tells you to. 

Not For Sale

       Why do we sometimes sell ourselves short?

       

       There are so many common phrases that remind us how many people are guilty of selling themselves short. “You’re your biggest critic”, “you’re your own worst enemy”, “you’re too hard on yourself.” Since when did we become so harsh to our very selves? And how sad is it that we all just accept these things as common and continue on with our lives?!

       There are so many things in our complex brain that make us our own worst enemy. We judge ourselves too much, we compare ourselves to other people, we think too much, we are over-analytical, we don’t let the past go, we’ve been hurt, we have a job that drains the life out of us, we let things make us weak when otherwise your grandma would say you are “one tough cookie”, and the list goes on.

       Listen, we all have our days, but once in a while you have to remember the independent, confident, bad-ass, good-looking motherfucker that you really are. Yes, there will be times we fall down, but we always get back up. And yes, there will be times we look like shit, but we always clean up well, don’t we? 

       I say we have a nice toast to ourselves....I type this as I drink a stiff vodka on the rocks...3 ice cubes.

       Once in a while you need to relieve the stress of your draining job, of your hyperactive kids, your fucked up car that needs fixing, your repetitive household chores, your arguments with people, your “what ifs”, your “ands”, your “buts”, your “maybes”, people in general, your bills, your worries, your problems, and your never ending “to-do” list.

       We can’t always depend on other people to bring us up. So let’s start the habit of taking care of that ourselves. I know I always say this but LIFE IS SHORT. It may not work every time, but once in a while try to remind yourself of this when you had a bad day, are in an argument, angry, upset, crying, or have a stressful issue...and you might surprise yourself in finding that you might change your attitude around.

       Don’t let yourself be your worst enemy, there are plenty of people in the world that will or already have applied for that position. Fuck what people think, forget about how people perceive you, your life, your relationship, or your friends...because you know what value all of it is really holds. Forget everyone’s approval. Those who really love and know you or want to know you won’t judge, so do not worry. 

       Don’t sell yourself short. In fact, don’t sell yourself at all! You’re fun, you’re talented, you’re beautiful, your jokes are great, your outfit looks amazing, you’re good at your job, you’re valuable, you're intelligent, you’re wanted, you’re unique, you’re inspiring, you’re special, you’re powerful, you’re confident, you’re good-hearted, you’re a good friend, you’re a good partner, you’re a good person...and you are not for sale.

       So stand up and toast to yourself. Appreciate YOU, appreciate your journey, appreciate your hard work, your struggles, and your successes. Let’s be the person we really want to be, and the person we really are, and let’s make it a habit! Let’s toast to rebuilding, to withstanding, and preserverance. Because remember, life is not about your setbacks...life is all about your comebacks.