Let’s be honest. As much as we say “I don’t care what people think.” We all know deep down we certainly do care what people think. And maybe not every single person, maybe only certain people, but nevertheless, we do care. We all fear what people may think about something we said, something we did, or something we didn’t do or say.
And I do believe that at times we may be concerned with what people or a certain person may have thought of something we said or did, and in reality that person did not even judge it. Imagine all the times we sat there worried or concerned or debating what this person is thinking when in fact they just took it for what it was. . . Talk about wasted energy!
And forget about all the hundreds, even thousands of people who we encounter in a month or a year or our entire life-span that may have judged us. Quite a lot probably, right? Now imagine all the times we have judged our very selves.
Think of how many times we may have confessed a dark secret to an old friend or had a hissy fit in front of our significant other after a long day at work and said to ourselves “Ugh, shit, why did I say that!?” Or you broke down and cried in front of someone you care about and later felt regret for “opening up too much” or “expressing too much emotion”, or being “too vulnerable.”
Then there are the thoughts of setting criteria for ourselves. “I should be acting this way.” “I should be happy.” “I should be not bothered by this right now.” “I shouldn’t be this frustrated.” “I should have done this.” “I should have done that.”
When the hell did we become so critical? What happened to worrying about OTHERS judging us? Now we gotta worry about ourselves too? Christ. We are in trouble here.
We don’t need to put parameters, limitations, rules, or requirements on any of our actions, emotions, or lives. You over-reacted, you under-reacted, you yelled, you cried, you spoke too much, you didn’t speak at all, you were vulnerable, you stepped out of line, you didn’t step up at all, you were in a funk, you weren’t yourself for a moment, you pulled an attitude....OH WELL.
Don’t forget the most obvious fact, we are human and no one is perfect. We are all allowed to have our moments. I am giving us permission.
All we can hope for is that we surround ourselves with people who DO NOT judge us and can love us during our bad days and with our flaws and all. If you have that you’re lucky, if you don’t have that...well I suggest you better get to finding it.
Embrace your flaws, embrace your “bad” moments, embrace your emotions...and try to embrace them in others as well. Use it as an opportunity to improve yourself, be a better you, and laugh at yourself once in a while. Every day, every moment, every interaction and encounter is a chance to better your life. So don’t judge yourself because on judgement day there will be a line of people ready and willing to do that for you. And remember, there are nearly 7 billion people in the world to judge you...don’t add one more to the bunch.
