We Live In The Golden Age

       I watched the Oscars for the first time in years this year. Given the fact that I am obsessed with movies (in another life I swear I was an actress and director), I vowed to watch the entire thing from start to finish. Luckily J watched it with me. 

       I could go into the meaning of movies and how much I appreciate them but I’ll save that for another entry. The one thing I took from watching the Oscars was a new list of movies that J and I needed to watch. Although we watched a lot of them, there were a few that we didn’t even know were out this past year.

       So we watched several movies over the next few days. And we finished one recently that really got me thinking. “Midnight in Paris” was it’s title. Now, this movie was nothing necessarily overly spectacular but it was one of the most unique movies I’ve seen in a while. Uniqueness and originality are two very important aspects to me when critiquing a film (sometimes I think I’m Siskel and Ebert wrapped into one small Puerto Rican girl.)

       I’ll try not to go into too much detail, as to not spoil it for some of you who may want to see it. But this movie resinated with me because it wasn’t after a book, it wasn’t a “part 2” to another movie, it wasn’t after a comic or a remake of an old film...it was it’s own kind. Kudos to Woody Allen.

       One of the main concepts of the movie was the idea of “living in a golden age.” Think of the person you know that wishes they lived in another era. Like that one guy who constantly talks about how he was supposed to be born in the 60’s so he can smoke weed in his parents basement and wear bell bottom jeans. We all know these types of people. Well, the star in this film was one of those people, only he wanted to live in the 20’s in Paris. 

       Granted, I know we all have studied or researched a period in time or location and wondered what it would be like to live there or want to be living during that time...but what about now? Although the movie doesn’t show the character to be ungrateful for the present, it did get me thinking...why do some of us take the present for granted?

       So many of us let time go by doing our mundane routines, paying our electric bill, taking out the trash, going to the gym, washing our car, driving to work...hey, don’t forget to stop once in a while and enjoy the sun shining on your face, that good song on the radio, or that feeling when you drive with your windows down on a warm day. This is something I need to learn to do more often myself. We get so caught up in the stresses from work, our relationships with people, our family, our problems, our bills, and our worries. We dwell on things from our past, we hope and wish for things in the future and we completely forget about living in the now. Are we completely missing the the fact that in 100 years, the time we are living in now will be someone else’s “golden age” to live in? Let’s enjoy it!

       Many of us “escape” the present by focusing on the future or dwelling on or missing things from the past. This makes us completely lose the enjoyment of the present moment. Not only that but we have become accustomed to the thinking of “when THIS happens...then I’ll do THAT.” The dreaded syndrome that leaves you never accomplishing anything because you want everything in it’s perfect place. Like one of my favorite quotes says “If you wait to do everything until you’re sure it’s right. You’ll probably never do much of anything.” -Win Borden

       I’m not saying don’t take care of your daily responsibilities all together, to not be ambitious about the future, or to not remember the past that has made you who you are...but what I am saying is that we need to live more in the present than any other place. Because the present is the only time that is promised. The past is forever gone, unchangeable, and the future is too mysterious for anyone to try to figure out. So let us all take a deep breath and leave the burdens of the future and past behind. Don’t you feel that weight lifted off your shoulders?

       The good thing about life is we get to shape our own movie. We are the main characters, and to a degree, we choose how the storyline will develop, who gets killed off and who survives to the end, who co-stars and who is an extra. We get to choose what outfits we will get to prance around in during our scenes, what parts to tell our brains to “edit” out, what moments we want to pause and remember, and what times we rather fast forward through. We get to choose what stud or princess steals our heart, what lines we will have, and what soundtrack will play during our end credits.

       We will never be able to take a time machine back in time or flash forward to the future. So let’s enjoy the age we live in, the age of now. For now is the most golden age of them all. And now is the only chance we get to film our movie and make it be memorable, something we can be proud of, and perhaps have it be a true classic.

       Contrary to some people’s belief, happy endings don’t just happen in the movies. All of our lives can have happy endings...We just have to film it correctly. 

The Dog Days Are Over

       Have you ever had good news and went to share it with people and found yourself in the middle of a lecture or suddenly amongst some “Debbie Downers”?

       Well this happened to me the other day at work. I mean, I see these people everyday, we laugh, we complain, we do business, we go to meetings, we collaborate, we work together, we get through deadlines, etc. So of course I feel comfortable letting them know some good news...Who wouldn’t?

       About a month ago, my boyfriend “J” & I seriously began discussing getting a puppy. We both had the desire to get one, especially me, since I’ve never had a dog before. When we began our search we weren’t quite sure how it would go. But eventually we found a dog we wanted, we found a reputable breeder, picked a color, and eventually found our puppy, Jade.

       Since the only place we could find the color and specific breed we were looking for was all the way in California, Jade would have to be a trooper and be flown over to us. So after dropping the money on her (PayPal comes in handy for these types of transactions), we started preparing for her arrival. And yes, it is strangely similar to preparing for the arrival of a child. We went and bought her food (top of the line), treats, toys, a bed to sleep on, blankets, shampoo, and the list goes on. Everything was in it’s place.

       We decided to not tell anyone about our purchase since we know how some people will give you the “lecture” and the list of precautions. Honestly, we just wanted to make our own decision and not hear much else about it until the deed was done.

       So where was I? ...Oh right, telling my co-workers the good news. Well I was in a meeting at the time where there were several older folks, people married with kids, etc. Let’s just say, I was the youngest of the bunch. As we sat for a few moments waiting on the next topic to discuss, I decided to share my good news with them. 

       “Want to see a picture of the puppy my boyfriend & I are getting?” 

       I showed everyone the most adorable picture, just waiting for their “ooos” and “ahhhs”. I mean, who doesn’t get a soft heart from a cute little puppy picture?! 

       Suddenly I found myself in a tsunami of Negative Nancy’s.

       “Oh well it’s a huge responsibility ya know!”

       “I have 2 kids and a dog and the dog is the worst one to deal with!”

       “Just make sure it doesn’t bite your neighbors or anything like that”

       “I guess you and your boyfriend must be pretty serious for such a commitment?”

       “Oh, to be young and naive” 

       I sat there stupefied. I was completely not ready for the line of fire I just received. They just answered me like I told them I just turned 18 and I was adopting a terminally ill child from Ethiopia and then off to get married to a 50 year old alcoholic on a whim....I’m 25, I’m in a happy relationship with my boyfriend that I love and live with, and we’re getting a fucking dog. The world will continue to turn. Young and naive? More like young, happy, and getting a dog. 

       I was angered at first. Although I told a lot of people in my department about the dog initially and got a lot of positive feedback and happiness, this small event at this meeting really bugged me. “How could people be so annoying?” “What the hell is their problem?”

       Not only did I stand up for myself, letting them know that their aggravation with their own pet situation is most likely due to their poor training and the dog’s lack of exercise. And that obviously I am aware of the “responsibility” considering I’m not 12 and am fully capable of making a decision on my very own. Also, those with children probably understood the fact that having kids was a “huge responsibility” and that didn’t stop them from having any right?

       It then dawned on me, these people were just somewhat miserable with their own lives and were not even self-aware that they were showing it blatantly with their reaction and comments toward someone else’s good news! I quickly analyzed that someone was having a bad day at work, not happy in their own relationship/marriage, was frustrated with their own pet, or something similar.

       It’s like telling someone the good news that you’re getting married and they answer with “Ohhhh, that marriage thing, just be careful.” Obviously they don’t have a liking for marriage, or are in one they wish they weren’t. Why pay these types of people any mind?

       After my aggravation had subsided, I suddenly found it to be a quite humorous “experiment”. I went around telling anyone who would listen that I was getting this cute adorable little puppy. As I analyzed their reactions, I gained respect only for those being positive in their responses. 

       I learned a valuable lesson: Next time someone rains on your parade of good news, brush it off, knowing that this reaction is just a slight strain of jealousy, unhappiness, a bad day, or simply just their lack of true happiness for others. And I’m not talking about your parents giving you a lecture about what to watch out for in life. I’m talking about telling certain people you know a bit of good news and getting a more than undesirable reply. Misery certainly does love company, so please don’t bother inviting me over.

       Most likely, more than half the people you interact with will be of this nature. And don’t be surprised, sometimes it will be your own friends or even your own family. But you must realize that is not necessarily anything personal and it’s their own problem they have to live with. So next time you give someone some good news, watch their reaction carefully...and also, watch your own reaction when someone tells you something good going on with them! Are you being happy for them?
       Bottom line, I’m in a happy relationship with J, we live in a nice apartment, we got a dog we’ve been wanting and now we have our own little happy “family”. So welcome to my happy parade. And it is continuously marching on...so bring your umbrella, as it will be held rain or shine. 

Don't Be Self-fish

       Ahh, relationships. In my opinion, love makes the world go round. Your love for your car, your job, your days off, your 60” LED TV, your XBOX360, your career, your love for football, your iPod, your phone, your dog, your family, your friends, your favorite sweater, your life. But I find the love you have for your partner is the most unique, special, and intense love that one will encounter. 

       Before we take a look at people we know in relationships, let’s clarify that the purpose of this isn’t to judge. It’s an observation, an opinion, an analysis and a means of understanding relationships. So let’s think of people we know in relationships. How many friends do you have that are constantly crying to you about their relationship? How many times does the couple you are acquainted with argue when you are all out to dinner? How many times have you seen a couple eat an entire meal and not say a word to each other?

       And I’m not saying that every relationship is perfect and you’ll never have a bad night or a rough patch...or that you’ll never perhaps be “that couple” not speaking through dinner one night or having a little argument on a night out with some friends. But I’m looking at it on a deeper level. I’m speaking of this being the relationship itself.

       I’ll be candid in saying I know too many people in relationships that if they were to speak completely truthful would not say, “Wow, I’m so happy.” I know people who will comment on others “being hot”, etc behind their significant others’ back. People who speak of “finding someone else”, someone better. People who never really feel proud to say “she’s my girlfriend” or “he’s my boyfriend.” I would assume that the other person in the relationship who found this out or knew about it would not be too thrilled to know this information. What’s really going on here?

       Then there are the people who are in relationship and don’t realize all the red flags. People who want to get married and they very well know the person they are with would never want to get married. Or if you want 3 kids and you are absolutely aware of the fact that your partner has no interest whatsoever on ever having children. Listen, if you are willing to flush your goals down the porcelain toilet of life for someone else, and you’re fine with that, than great. But I doubt that sounds overly appealing to anyone. Is it worth knowing you must give up on these major things all together? Or spend the rest of your life trying to “get them on board?” Please say no.

       Then there are so many people “dealing” with things about the person they are with. And I’m not speaking of dealing with the fact that your girlfriend showers your closets with her shoe collection or how your boyfriend refuses to remember to put the toilet seat down. I’m talking about major characteristics here. People who know they need to talk through a problem, they are communicative and open, yet their partner never wants to discuss or address issues at all. In fact, they shut down the idea at the very first inclination of it beginning. Can’t you tell this is going to be a never-ending and very sad battle every time you need to communicate?

             Oh, and the people who settle, when they really don’t want to. Hello “settlers.” The ones who have been in a relationship so long that they fear being alone. These people try so hard to put up a front that they are happy and in love with someone when in reality it is a fear of the unknown, a habit they keep up. These people stay with someone because they are “used to it”, because they “feel bad”, because it is something that they have come to know as second nature. How would your partner feel if they knew those were the primary reasons behind you staying with them? If some people only knew...

       Now my over-arching point here is what the hell are some people thinking? Let me clarify, yes not every relationship will always be perfect. It is not a secret that there will be times when things may be off, arguments may arise, and patience will be tested...all that is natural. But talking behind your boyfriend’s back to friends saying you really rather find someone else, as he’s online looking at engagement rings, is just amazingly selfish. Basically telling your girlfriend to essentially throw away her hopes of ever getting married or having kids is amazingly selfish. Pouring your feelings out to someone else about really wanting to be with them instead, when you have been in a long-term relationship with someone else, is pathetic. And then you go about your day like nothing happened? You are not only selfish but you are cold-hearted, untrustworthy, and I am surprised anyone thinks you are a good person.

       Let’s be overly blunt here, if you’re in a serious relationship (or at least the person you’re with thinks you are) and you’re out and about discussing your relationship disconnect, how you’re really only staying with them because you are too scared of being alone, or you have feelings for other people...how do you think that looks on you? Or maybe you really care about the person but you’re “sticking it out” despite their lack of interest, effort, romance, and communication. Be stronger than that.

       2 things:

       1) If you’re with someone for the wrong reasons (ie. because you don’t want to be alone, you’re staying with them meanwhile you’re interested in other people, etc.) let me inform you that your character is highly at stake. Why are you giving someone the impression that you love and care about them and you stab them in the back and make them look stupid to other people? Wow, you’re a great person.

       2) If you’re with someone you want to marry one day KNOWING they have no interest of marring you...or you are muddling through a relationship knowing their lack of communication is killing your level of happiness on a daily basis, or you sense their lack of commitment, their lack of effort, their lack of respect toward you...you should realize you are cutting yourself more than short.

       Whether you are the selfish one or you’re the person trying to maintain a relationship with someone who gives you below average effort, you should all quickly realize that you are in situations that you need to get out of. I’m speaking of this because do you really want to wake up in a few years...hell, maybe even 10 years and realize you have been wasting time with the wrong person?! You may even know it now, but for the reasons we discussed you remain. Don’t waste the minimal time we already have struggling in a relationship, trying to stay above water.

       Believe it or not, relationships are supposed to enhance your life, cheer you up, make you a better person and make you feel happy. Along with the perks of not having to sleep alone, having someone fix your leaky faucet in your bathroom, getting free home-cooked meals and free massages, and increase the number of times you have sex in a month. But seriously, as simple as it sounds, relationships should be a source of happiness.

       In reality, people’s level of commitment has really dwindled down. So many people aren’t fully committed in their relationship. Now a days, at the first sign of trouble, people are more inclined to check out, give up, act shady, or simply stop trying. No wonder long-term relationships are few and far between..and the divorce rate is at an all-time high. 

       

       Are people just less in love?

       

       If you’re pulling some poor soul through a daily insecurity of your lack of effort and commitment, please stop being selfish and let them find someone better than you. Let them off the hook and release them. And if you’re the “poor soul” hanging on to a relationship in hopes it will improve one day so you can truly be happy...please don't feed into it and do yourself a favor and free yourself of the burden now.
       Remember, there are many other fish in the sea...don’t drown yourself with a self-fish.

Get Out Of Your Own Way

       So on Wednesday night my boyfriend and I went to a concert I'd really been wanting to go to for a while. Some of you may have heard of him...Mac Miller. Here's this 19 year old white kid who made YouTube videos to his songs he would record in his friend's basement. He got so many views that bloggers started writing about him, people starting subscribing to him online and now he's touring the world. And he's touring it without a record deal. This independent artist is calling the shots, making his own moves, and doing it all with his friends and his OWN crew of people. And just 2 months ago, with the help of Twitter and Facebook, he marketed his album so well that it hit number 1 on the Billboard charts...The first time an independent artist hit number one in the last 16 years. Whether you like his music or not, you have to respect the kid’s ambition. So, writing music, having your best friends standing on stage with you at every show, reaching millions of people, and being able to hear a large crowd singing the lyrics to your songs..all without restrictions, without someone telling you you need to, without any deadlines, or contracts. Talk about a life. And a life that I WANT.

       We arrived at House of Blues in Atlantic City around 7 PM. Once the doors opened, we found our way to a decent spot within a nice distance of the stage. I was grateful, considering I am barely 5'1 and I could actually see the stage. Despite drunken idiots almost falling over on us, weed smokers blowing smoke in our faces, and the occasional asshole trying to "excuse" his way in front of you so he could see better...we had a good time. Although, considering my boyfriend and I both have no tolerance for people being inappropriate, we were capable of keeping each other calm in the midst of people pulling at our last nerves. Nothing like two sober "don't take shit from anyone" people standing right in the middle of a sea of drunks.

       Once 9 PM hit, we heard people coming out on stage, but we were fooled. It was not Mac Miller, it was two dudes that were about to make our ears bleed. Two guys (one with a beanie on that said "Ape") rapped several songs that consisted of screaming one word into the microphone over and over and over. "BASS! BASS! BASS! BASS! HANDS! HANDS! HANDS!" we heard, with the occasional "click-clack" noise of a gun that the DJ would mix in. Anyone who knows my passion for my music can envision the look on my face. I was immediately filled with anger, resentment, jealousy, and somewhat humor. I looked back at my boyfriend and luckily he could read my lips: "Seriously?!" I mouthed to him as he rolled his eyes. He believes in me and appreciates my songs, so he too understood my bewilderment.

       I sincerely do not mean to be a hater but when you do certain music and then you hear someone giving it a bad name, butchering it, or totally being a talent-less smuck...you feel annoyed. Not only that but most importantly, I felt more so than ever "if THEY can do it, I can do it". . .So I stood there, cracking jokes about them and drinking my invisible bottle of justified haterade. Soon, the group was off stage and we impatiently awaited for Mac Miller to come on.

       As the curtains opened and one of my favorite songs "Best Day Ever" began...I was so excited. I grabbed my boyfriend's hand and was singing every lyric so loud that you could hear me over everyone surrounding us. As the concert went on and the heat in the room rose, my black long-sleeve shirt was now tied around my waist (thank God I wore a tank-top underneath), weed smoke filled the air, and both of our lungs hurt already. We suddenly looked at each other and realized "box seats next time". We were getting a little too old for the general admission tickets.

       Despite this realization, we continued to enjoy the concert. Mac sang a lot of our favorite songs, he even pulled out his guitar and played a Sublime song as we all sang along. At one point he stopped the music and went on to say that "Dreams come true". While he explained his journey of going from a no one to a someone and now being able to perform for us on the stage he stood on...I was touched. Call it corny, but I felt an overwhelming inspiration. I felt filled with light and possibility. And I remembered again, if those two idiots screaming one word for 3 minutes could somehow, some way, make it far enough to open for Mac...than why couldn't I do something similar? Or at the very least, why shouldn't I at least TRY?

       Before you knew it Mac was finishing the night on one of his biggest songs. "Hopefully, I'll be at the top soon...for now I'm at my house, on the couch, watching cartoons..." As the lights went out, the cheers rumbled the room. And as we quickly headed for the exit, I couldn't stop thinking to myself: "I. Want. To. Do. That."

       So maybe I'm over-achieving, maybe I'm biting off more than I can chew, maybe I'm reaching too high in the stars, maybe I'm getting my own hopes too high, maybe I'm expecting too much, maybe I'm not being people's version of "realistic". But why should I stop? Why should I throw my arms up and say "Oh well, too high of a goal" or "I'll just give it up, it's not "realistic" enough?" Do you think Mac Miller did that? No. Even those 2 idiots barely getting through a song before he came on probably believe in themselves enough that they created an opportunity to open up at a sold out show at the House of Blues. And it's not like I don't have the resources. I have the friends who are kind enough to send me instrumentals, I have the microphone, the studio headphones, the writing abilities, the passion, the voice, the access to studios and talented people, and call me cocky, but I know I have the talent. I will keep making songs, I will work on ensuring I have some legit music videos to post on YouTube in this coming year, I will find more people to collaborate with, I will promote myself, I will keep writing, I will keep singing, I will keep rapping, I will keep my hopes high, and I will believe in my passions in life. If we don't believe in what we love to do...than I ask, what is truly the point? Even if we don’t wind up fully making it exactly where we may have hoped, we can feel confident that our dreams are active in our lives. Even if I do stay at a 9 to 5 for the remainder of my life, I'll still have music to show my friends and friends of friends...I'll still have songs to work on in my spare time, I'll still have this blog for people to read,  I'll still have passion, and I'll never be able to say that my dreams aren't a part of my daily life. And THAT my friends, is the true point. Although we may not always make it precisely to where we want to go, we will never stand a chance if we don't actively pursue it.

       In a world where sometimes dreams come to die, you must fight to keep yours very much alive. And it's very true, the only real person in your way...is yourself. Don’t let your own self doubts stagger your growth. Don't live by anyone else's standards or expectations but your own. And no matter what, TRY.

       You want to write a book? Write it. You want to build an invention? Do it. You want to find that dream job? Start applying. You want to make music? Start singing. You want to play guitar? Teach yourself. You want to reach people? Start a blog. You want to follow your dreams? Start now. 

       So no matter how large or small of a goal, clear a path toward it, start walking, and get the hell out of your own way.

Social NotWorking

       So in the midst of doing some research early this morning, I came across this article disclosing that a study from the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers (AAML) found that Facebook & social networking sites have been linked to divorces in America. 66% of divorces to be exact. And I'd love to say that I was shocked, but I wasn't whatsoever. 

       My first thought was perhaps these were "older" folks, who didn't have the luxury we had to somewhat "grow up" with social networking. And it is possible that due to their lack of experience, knowledge, and understanding of these sites, they fell victim to their sometimes overwhelming bullshit. With that said, then I wondered, just because we are more well-versed on these mediums does that make us invincible to their potential harm? 

       I have one too many friends, guy or girl, (and I'm sure you have too) that have been upset at something they see on Facebook, Twitter, etc. And hey, I'm no saint. I've had my ass chapped a time or two in my day. But in reality, what's it all worth?

       So let's take a look. People mainly would say "It's just Facebook, not a big deal", "not worth it", etc. And these folks have a very valid point here. But on the flip side, why should anyone have to deal with any of it to begin with? In all reality, you can be in a successful relationship and not piss your partner off because of something on Facebook. It IS possible ya know. We all know people in relationships with the knowledge of what sites like Facebook do to people/relationships and yet, they still put themselves in these positions.

Do you really need to 'like' that random dudes picture from college where he's dressed up to go out?

Do you really need to remain 'friends' with your ex's family?

Do you really need to have 1,789 friends on your page?

Do you really need to 'like', 'comment', 'message' on anything or anyone remotely related to a person you not so long ago dated?

Do you really need to "follow" some half-naked wanna be famous broad or dude on your Twitter page?

Do you really need to stay connected with certain people who have no real value or relevance to your current life or relationship?

       If you are in a serious and committed relationship, the answer to ALL of these questions should very easily be 'No'.

       So now you see it from the flip side. Yes, it's not a big deal...but maybe it is a big deal that some of you don't notice your capabilities to decrease the level of annoyance, if not erase it completely. It is within OUR power to allow people into our social networking life. We chose to interact, we chose to "follow", we chose to 'like' or 'comment', we chose to befriend someone or deny their request. It is our very own doing. And perhaps your significant other isn't thrilled with your part of the deal. Sounds a bit more clear now doesn't it?

       Considering I've heard of many situations of this nature and I’m sure we all have an understanding of it in the age we are growing up in...I felt it deemed some relevance in this entry. And I'm not saying that your past relationships don't shape you or that they weren’t a part of your life. I'm not even saying that some people don't remain somewhat friendly with their ex (although I’ve never heard of their current partner jumping for joy). But usually in the grand scheme of life, there comes a time and a place to close some doors and cut some ties. The past is the past for a reason, and it’s usually a good one. So if certain people from your past or certain people who aren't a value to your future are still lurking around...we should make the decision to actively detach ourselves.

       We live in a world of constant connection. And I'm not talking only sites like Facebook and Twitter...not only can people text and email much easier and faster now, but even applications like FourSquare and HeyTell can give you access to message someone without anyone even knowing about it. Hell, even the gaming center on your iPhone freely serves up your email address for people to contact you.

       And trust is key. Yes, we trust our partners don't we? But from a lot of the people I've seen in these situations, and from my analysis as well, I think it is the worry of having to trust other people...strangers..friends on Facebook, followers on Twitter, people with certain applications, emails, texts, phone numbers. AHHHH social media connection OVERLOAD.

       With all the 'likes', 'follows', 'messages', ‘photos’, 'chats', 'comments', 'emails', 'texts', 'pokes', ‘subscriptions’, 'friends', ‘statuses’, ‘tweets’ and 'networking' going on, I ask...will our relationships survive?

       If people who have devoted their life to each other in marriage have had social media be the culprit to their problems...how the hell are we safe? Mark Zuckerberg is probably sitting back on a yacht somewhere throwing his billions in the air as he chuckles to himself from the mania he has caused.

       If your single, great. But if you are in a serious relationship, engaged to be married, living together, already married, about to have kids, or anything of the like...it's never too late to make some strides to ensure your relationship will stand the test of time. And trust me, there is a decent amount of time to stand.

       Facebook. Twitter. Blaa Blaa Blaa. What purpose does it REALLY serve us? Ok, I'll give you a second to think about it.....NOTHING. Seeing a bunch of pointless photos from the kid you talked to once in high school, what event your ex from college is attending this weekend, what sarcastic remark your friend has about the football game last night or a complete album dedicated to babies drooling doesn't benefit anyone...and certainly doesn't benefit your relationship. So why are we fighting so hard to hold onto it?

       Your REAL friends will know your phone number to contact you. You don't need Facebook to stay in touch. These sites are evil in the fact that everything you do, say, or interact with is judged by others. And not only judged but I think more importantly, it is all constantly open to interpretation. Your partner, or anyone else for that matter, doesn’t really understand all the intent in certain things, the background story, or the updates. The interpretation and curiosity is what fuels many arguments in this arena. Shit, even companies won’t hire you for your immature profile picture or the fact you ‘liked’ the “Big Tits In America” group. 

       Hey, no one is perfect. Shit happens. But if it takes completely deleting your otherwise irrelevant account or at the very least deleting or unfollowing people off your page until you’re down to 100 REAL friends, blocking certain stalkers or people of concern, deleting photos, detagging yourself, ensuring your privacy settings are at their most effective and perhaps not logging on as much...to keep your relationship protected of pointless harm, why wouldn’t you do it?

       And I’m not saying we all need to never use any of these mediums again for the rest of our lives, but we could all use some awakening on this topic and each individual knows what is best for them and their relationships. But our relationships and our futures are more important than any social media. It’s sad that’s even a sentence written out in this blog, but times have changed and in turn, so have our ways of connecting to people. Apparently it is worthy of discussing, given that people are throwing in the towel in their long-term relationships and even marriages, with this being one of the reasons to blame.

       Ya know how a lot of people say you need to “Stay Connected”...well I say you should always stay a bit disconnected. If you want a successful future let’s make some effective decisions all around. Shut some long overdue open doors, turn over some new leaves, close some chapters in our book, and do the right things. The future of our relationships and marriages depend on it.

       So, don’t “like” it...enjoy it.

       Don’t “post” something...say something.

       Don’t “send a message”...make a phone call.

       Don’t read a “newsfeed”...read a book.

       Don’t  “share” a story...be a part of one.

       Don’t “subscribe” to a person...subscribe to a blog.

       Don’t “change a picture”...change a life.

       Don’t “follow”...lead.

       And don’t “tweet” about it......BE ABOUT IT.

The Lives We Lead

       So in honor of the fact that Thanksgiving day was yesterday, I got to thinking about what I am thankful for...and not only this year, but in general at this point in my life. After-all, is it not the perfect time to reflect on the things you are grateful to have in your life?

Family is forever.

       Although my family is on the smaller side and somewhat separated after my parents’ divorce years back...I don't know what I'd do without them. Whether you get to see them a lot or you don’t get around to meeting up with them too often...just knowing you have your family there is always a blessing. It is a group of people that will always support you, be there for you, and come running in a time of need. Not only that, but you know they aren't going anywhere. Unlike some other people who are subject to come and go in your life, no matter what, your family will always be there. And I am very thankful to have them and their endless support.

A very significant other.

       Well for any of you who may have read "The Ninth Cloud" entry, than you already know my happiness in this department. I give many a thanks to having the wonderful boyfriend that I do. From the moment we started talking, we just knew...our search for the "perfect one" could finally come to a screeching halt.

       I am truly thankful that we have gone from our first days of dating, to our first kiss, to meeting the parents, to falling in love, to moving into our very own place, to being able to watch our relationship grow and blossom into the beauty that it is today. My boyfriend...I thank you for your constant support of my goals and dreams, for encouraging my talents in music and writing, for your never-ending understanding and forgiveness, and for always giving effort in our relationship, everyday. Thank you for your thoughtfulness, your romance, your intelligence, your patience, and your unconditional love.

       To the person who somehow knows how to put a smile on my face on the worst days, who reminds me not to give up when the tough times come, who truly is my best friend, and who laughs loud with me at 2 in the morning. To the person who respects me, who remembers what I say, who knows what I'm thinking without a word being said, and who has genuinely and beautifully shown me that my traits are appreciated and loved...on this year in particular, I am forever thankful that I will always have you to hold my hand.

We all get by, with a little help from our friends.

       My parents used to always warn me in high school that your friends will "come and go" and only a real good few will remain. I found this to turn out to be very truthful. Not only have friends I used to have for years slowly fade out of my life, but I have had just as many great ones that came shining in. And I am thankful for my friends back home that still keep in touch and never let me forget that they will be there.

       And college was not only one of the greatest times of my life, but I met some of the best people in the world. Not everyone is lucky enough to gain an entire "home away from home" family at college. I am thankful that I did. And although we may not see each other often, I know I can call any of them up and we could pick up right where we left off. Thank you to all my WVU family for making 4 years of my life very amazing, for giving me some of the funniest, craziest, most memorable memories, for teaching me many lessons, and for always making sure I got home safe on a Saturday night.

       I’ve also gained friendships from the most unexpected places, and I am thankful for that too. And although the amount of true and close friends has come to be few. Those few are solid and trustworthy. So to all of my friends, thank you for being there to laugh with me, for staying up late hours listening to my banter, for hearing my problems and caring, for telling me I need to change those shoes I picked out, for reminding me to shut up at times, for cheering me on, for rooting for me, for staying in touch, for all of your support, for being beautiful, for being unique, and for being (and staying) friends with me. :)

Flaws and all.

       I know it sounds weird to be thankful for my flaws, but really, if you think about it, without our flaws...how would we ever learn? So I am thankful for being flawed (as we ALL are). Without them, I would never grow, I would never learn, and I would never be able to continue to mature in my life. No one is perfect...so with that being said, let’s embrace our imperfections. They help shape our lives and build our ever-growing character. Also, once in a while it’s nice to remember that we always have opportunities to change, improve our lives, and better ourselves.

A little passion goes a long way.

       I have to say that I am thankful for the passion I have in my hobbies, talents, and goals. I have spend a lot of this year finding myself and realized this blog and my music have been a large part of my life lately. Not only that, but I find a great deal of happiness, accomplishment, and enlightenment in them. I constantly find myself preaching to others to "follow your dreams" or at least keep them in your life. Whatever it is you love to do...make sure you keep doing it, and do it with passion. Everyone has a dream, so be thankful you have one, and even more so...make sure you are passionate about keeping it alive.

The fall-backs and comebacks.

       Our lives are filled with both our fall-backs and failures and our comebacks and successes. Without either, we couldn't truly learn to appreciate the other. Without these experiences, both good and bad, what would shape our lives?

       Let's be thankful for the times we were at our rock bottom and climbed our way back up, for the mistakes that have made us strong and tough and have given us a list of "never agains". And let's be thankful for our successes we have achieved. I am thankful for all of my successes and failures, my fall-backs and comebacks, my rights and my wrongs. Whether it was the right thing or the wrong thing at whatever place and time, I ended up where I am now...and I'll admit, it's a pretty good place to be.

       So be thankful for your family, for your friends, be thankful for your significant other, for your passion and dreams, and for your fall-backs & comebacks. Give thanks....give love to others, give hope, give opportunity, give back, give people a second chance, give effort in your life, give it your all, give it your best...and once and a while, give yourself a break.

       Happy Thanksgiving to you and yours. To many more years, many more memories, and many more successes...to be thankful for. <3

       For the lives we lead may pass us by, if we don't take a moment to appreciate them.

Dependent on Independence

       Today I was thinking of independence.  Just the general idea of how people strive to be independent in their lives. I find this to be a great trait. Everyone should want to stand on their own two feet and be able to do things for themselves.

       At the same time though, have we grown to think of accepting help from others to be a sign of “weakness”? Have we become dependent on independence? Whether it’s emotionally, physically, or financially...this struggle seems to be present. 

       Some guys are raised on the notion that if they cry, they aren’t “being a man”...that they seem weak. Trust me, I know of guys who have probably never shed a tear in their life. Talk about suppression. Or the girl who lives in fear that she’s being perceived as too emotional when she has a good cry. 

       We’ve all known or heard of someone who might be a little too old to do certain things for themselves and may feel bad for the family member needing to take care of them. A person who might have gotten in a serious accident and needs help walking, eating, showering, etc. Or have you ever had to ask your relatives or a loved one to loan you some money? We feel somewhat ashamed don’t we? We feel belittled.

       All of these people are not only frustrated with their situation at hand...but the real underlying fact is that they have suddenly moved from being independent to dependent upon someone. Whether you become emotionally dependent when you’re having a rough day and just need someone’s affection, physically dependent when something serious happens to you and you wouldn’t be able to manage without the assistance of someone else, or financially dependent when our lives of bills, payments, rent, and daily responsibilities happens to be kicking us in the ass lately.

       Yes, independence is a wonderful thing. But if anyone has a belief that they will coast through life never needing anyone’s attention and never needing anyone’s help...well at one point or even several points in their life, they will be proven terribly wrong. Life is crazy. We all know it and we’ve all come to terms with that. Without people we wouldn’t have made it through our childhood. We needed our parents to change our diapers and our little friends to color with us. Without people we wouldn’t have made it through high school. We needed our teachers to teach us & our friends to give us the answers to the test we didn’t study for. Without people we wouldn’t have made it through college. We needed someone to carry us home from a long night of binge drinking, save us from the crazy homeless man on the corner street, and pay for our 7 beers we ordered that we didn’t have money for. Without people we wouldn’t make it through work. We need our co-worker to fill in for us on our sick day & keep us up to date. And even later on in life, your family, your friends, your significant other or spouse...what would we do without them?

       Without them who would we bitch about our bad week to? Who would we laugh with? Who would we make memories with? Who would be there to carry you if you couldn’t walk again? Who would be there if you were buried in your bills? Who would be there to hold you while you cried?

       Think of all the times you’ve helped someone in this way. Did you mind? Because more times than not, I’m sure you were happy to do so. So just don’t forget that when you’re on the other end of the deal.

       Admit it, we’ve been depending upon people since the day we were born. It is the way of the world. So yes, be independent but do not feel ashamed to ask for help, to need someone’s help, and to receive someone’s help. We all need a shoulder to cry on, someone to take care of us in a time in need, and someone to help pay that unexpected bill you may not be able to pay for this month.

       If you need to depend on someone, do not feel ashamed and do not feel weak. Anyone who knows you knows you stand on your own two feet all year round and if there is a day or two that you need help, than accept the kind gesture and keep it moving.

       Remember, depending on others is part of life and a part of living. Make sure those in your life can depend on you for help....just don’t kick yourself in the ass when you’re the one needing it.